Daniel Kalwhite

Stand Up Comic. Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town.

[Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030]

Fuck this app. Adios

[Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030]

referring to yer piss fetish as “yellow tiger fights.”

[Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030]

“What I’m doing is buying a Cadillac what I’m thinking bout is some pussy.”

[Shawny Paper Towels @HighbrowShawn]

It’s impressive how El*n completely destroyed the reputability of the blue check. Now whenever I see a good tweet from someone with a blue check, I immediately think it’s stolen.

[Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030]

The Beatles were wrong

[Alchemist Type Beat @Alchemist]

I always called him a living PROPHET because thats what he was to us.
Me and Roc always said when KA rapped it was like he was delivering his words from the top of a mountain off a stone tablet.
The truest man and artist i have ever been lucky enough to cross paths with.
There is so much i want to say.
It was an honor to call you a friend and comrade .
Thanks Roc for connecting us.
KA, you made all of us better.
My condolences to the family.
Rest easy Kaseem Ryan aka BROWNSVILLE KA .
Till we meet again 🕊️

[Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030]

@Fightincowboy That sounds fun as hell.

[Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030]

Happy 5th of July to Elon Musk’s family’s emerald mine.

[Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030]

@DannyDrinksWine Flight of the Conchords

[NFR Podcast @nfr_podcast]

KENDRICK LAMAR & DR. DRE
NOT LIKE US

KENDRICK LAMAR’S
POP OUT CONCERT

🚨LIVE AT THE FORUM🚨
https://t.co/kQSlU6uA4V

[Shawny Paper Towels @HighbrowShawn]

Kendrick needs to end this show by bringing out Drake so they can shake hands like men and end this beef once and for all.

Maybe hand him a beer.

And then once Drake goes to take a sip of that beer…

…STONE COLD STUNNER. BAH GAWD. THAT SONUVABITCH.

[Shawny Paper Towels @HighbrowShawn]

I wrote about Palestine, Israel, and the human cost of our rhetorical stances.

I hope you’ll read it.

https://t.co/DqdFo5W2n6

[Jeffrey Levy 🇺🇸 🇨🇦 🇺🇦 @jeffreymlevy]

Hey @elonmusk. What gives?

[Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030]

Well maybe if you didn’t eat so many apples and turtles yer stomach wouldn’t hurt so bad, Yoshi?!

[Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030]

@robtswthrayguns devon sawa

[Vought International @VoughtIntl]

Today, Vought is proud to announce the Homelander High-Tops! Based on our greatest hero’s boots, these shoes will make you feel like you can fly. Available at a Super deal of $777, with all proceeds going to his legal defense fund. Get yours before his sham of a trial on June 13!

[Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030]

@kinky_horror So hot. 🥵

[Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030]

Twitter suck now, pass it on. #bitchassMusk

[Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030]

Phil Simm’s son combs his hair like a creep.

[Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030]

Ma’am, may I be so bold as to say your breasts are amazeballs?