Cosmo Krump

Senior Analyst NBC | 1993 Junior Reporter of the Year | Philanthropist | Carnivore Diet | Summer home in El Salvador | #getkrumped

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

When will @manscaped be held accountable! “No cuts” “never pinches” “smooth finish” MY ASS.

Almost lost half my Johnson last night with hopes of smackin’ the clam of the new office secretary. Now I can barely get my shit up the way I’m losing blood.
#Krumpishurting #OMWGillette

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@pitbull was in yo hood this weekend, even got the ol’ nob polished by a Cuban chick, where were you?

Miami was a interesting to say the least.

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

Woke up under the I-95 overpass, pretty sure I just wiped my eye crust with someone’s old cum rag, to make matters worse I thought that I may found a water last night, turns out i was drinking zyn spit. All I have in my pocket is a coupon for buy 2 get 1 clam chowder! #Krumped

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@QuentinRemus Hell yeah Q, been there done that!
I didn’t have enough finger for my ex wife #ontothenext #smallbutmighty #krumpgetbig

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@QuentinRemus HA! I’m missing my son’s communion for this cruise! #hesunathletic #hismomisawhore #getkrumpedbitch

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@MalikMacLeod @QuentinRemus @lionelmuff The audacity to question the moral character of Krump and @QuentinRemus. I am steadfast against the brainwashing lefty agenda, the rapist Hollywood celebs, and the baby sniffing BIDEN!

If you’ve ever shared a domestic beer with me you know the truth.
#krumpbleedsRED #getkrumped

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@Rustavislov LFG RUSTY!!

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

FINALLY 5PM!
I was getting bitched at all day by the office HR manager bc sniffing my assistants chair after she gets up “DoEsNT AlLigN WitH CoMpaNy StAnDArDs”

She’s caked up, and Cosmo has a sweet tooth… #cavity

Abt to get blitzed off Voodoos and watch Fly over compilations

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@SchnappDaddy @tame_tha_blaze Praying the buzz I got off the 4 @BlueMoonBrewCo pitchers we got rides till 5pm. Also never knew @tame_tha_blaze was so damn flexible!

My only qualm is that Ik that Cajun seafood boil is gonna make me paint the sides of my tank!
#spookiedookie #wipetillibleed
#gotKrumped

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@DenardbigmanJ Hell yeah, always willing to help a like minded individual such as yourself. @QuentinRemus might have other thoughts considering you’d be sharing my Nana’s old pull out. I’m sure some of your trusty Fent could change his mind ;)#morethemerrier #caserace #rewatchingstrangertings

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@lionelmuff Good God! My Granpappy didn’t die in ‘Nam for some sissy leftist to leave THE FLAG on the ground. Thank you Doc, I hope you also administered one of those infertility vax to his 1st born. Lastly, I hope you keyed his Prius that I bet was sitting in his driveway. #WTF #Krumppissed

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@ReggieBink Love to see it! Sometimes I get a little backed up and can’t control myself to relatable, right?! Glad to see your keeping your energy up Señor Binks!
#textbookkrump #oopsie #moreprotein

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@tame_tha_blaze @lionelmuff @QuentinRemus

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

How the boys (blaze, doc, Q) and I will be pulling up to Dune 2 tm!

All I need is one of those delectable popcorn buckets in one hand and a water bottle filled w/ @TitosVodka in the other. Hope Zendaya won’t have me leaving the theater w/ a half chub like last time #blueballs

[Culture Crave 🍿 @CultureCrave]

Cinema is back

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@LutherMcLuther @lionelmuff I’m afraid your not taking this serious enough McLuther, early onset Rheumatoid Leftism is a real problem in America. Please eat a ribeye and drill some AMERICAN MADE lagers at your local bar. Might want to eat the bar peanuts for an extra immune boost #deathbed #Krumpcares

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@JumangisWorld Hmm, you mean the lake near the University of Florida? No way! The bat that Fauci used was fluent in Mandarin and loved chow mein. Fuck, it even offered me a happy ending!
#Wuhan #chinesevirus #fact #Krumpknowsbest

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@QuentinRemus I need 3 just to lay my head on the pillow Q. Believe me, I could use one.
#getkrumped

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@CUndergroveVICE Hell yeah brotha! I already know there’s a fat white English teacher ready to slob your nob after she sees you in this beaut.
#theresoneateveryschool
#krumpapproved #hotrod

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

Hell yeah! I cant wait for all the mental fortification that is going to take place in the #KrumpKave. Enhancing the body and mind, at this point I’m certain this is the perfect set up for another cultural renaissance 2016esk Kobe/Shaq Bron/Dwade
#KRUMPxREMUS #Babygotkrump #LFG

[Q @QuentinRemus]

Wife just kicked me out because of the failed vasectomy, shoutout @lionelmuff. Decided to move in to @DatBoyKrump’s condo. Currently setting up my wife’s TV in the KrumpKave. Will post updates. - Q #nextchapter

[Cosmo Krump @DatBoyKrump]

@QuentinRemus @lionelmuff You better not be shootin’ ropes on my nanas pullout couch down there!

I’m playin I’ve shot plenty of splooge on that old thing. Happy to welcome you into my home.
#newroomiealert #KrumpKavebaby