Comedian Naz Janus

the perfect mix of Fat Joe and Lil Romeo, I'm juuuuuuusssst right

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

@WWE with the new partnership with @TNADixie we need the first ever Ultimate X match for the Money in the Bank at #WrestleMania

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

People always talk about the Simpsons predictions but neglect how American Dad predicted an alien having sex with a fish or a human drinking breast milk at age 15. Cover up?

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

Plenty of Sleep sounds like a dating app for people with narcolepsy

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

@elonmusk shark tank style pitch: Tequilos. The 2 in 1 texmex flavor experience that combines drinking tequila through a taquito and eating a taquito soggy with tequila? Pretty sweet heh?

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

Im pissed off now that businesses are reopening and unemployment is dropping, there's gonna be like 50% less Spirit Halloween stores this year

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

Sounds like an exaggeration but it's not; back in my day we didn't have no Mr Beast or Jake Paul, the only thing we had on YouTube back then was a 30 second clip of a monkey pissing in their own mouth!

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

LA will be fine during the hurricane, as long as we can keep our essential workers on duty, influencers, stage moms, sugar babies that sort of thing

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

Someone told me if you drink all semester all you have to do is drink during the final to pass... then I remembered I'm 31... then I remembered I never went to college... then I remembered I was drunk right now and heard that from a cartoon 🤔

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

Disney's suing Ron DeSantis for using the government to influence their business like they forgot in America big business is supposed to influence the government, 1d chess move

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

Rob Van Dam's theme song is a certified hood banger

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

Something something, Arizona has no water, no Kari Lake, drain the swamp idk you figure this bit out

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

Pacific Garbage Patch Kids

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

My least favorite genre of YouTube is people cackling at there stoned dogs after the vet. Like quit being a narc, throw on some Queens of the Stoneage and let the little fucker vibe for once

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

Anews broadcast where the on scene anchor was reporting from that Texas elementary school then jumped into eulogizing Ray Liotta and the clip was him pistol whipping a dude in Good Fellas then jumped straight back into sad face asking "what is Americans obsession with violence?"

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

If we had book burnings and restricted curriculums when I was in school we never would have had the class vote to read Fight Club senior year. Which.....was totally badass. Brad Pitt beat a bunch of motherfuckers asses which is all I took from that story

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

Lucifer was canceled for going against the status quo

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

According to the laws the internet we're about 30 seconds away from a rapper doing a punchline like "stomp you out like im Dave chappelle"

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

Johnny Depp is so beloved he might be the first person found 𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 in the court of public opinion

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

The new Batman would've have been more gritty and real if Bruce Wayne just bought social media platforms so he could control the narrative around crime statistics

[Comedian Naz Janus @DeeMsTers4life]

We need a Netflix friendly update of Taxi Driver where an Uber Eats driver falls in love with a dark web human trafficking victim then goes on a rampage to save her, or maybe it was all in his head idk