Derek Cöckhammer

Sailin' on.

[Amo95 @BlueWatch1878]

Estimated net worth...

Nigel Farage - £3.2million
Richard Tice - £3million
Laurence Fox - £4million
Yaxley Lennon - £2million

You are being played by millionaires you absolute fuckin cretins.

Destroying your own streets & neighbourhoods whilst they laugh at you. Embarrassing!

[muttly @muttlysaid]

You have a little over 2 hours left.
If you haven't voted yet, wtf are you doing? Don't be part of the near 20 million people who can't be arsed to walk 10 minutes down the road and put a cross on a piece of paper.
It will feel like nothing.
It could mean everything.
#ExitPoll

[GET A GRIP @docrussjackson]

Reform UK Plc is basically the National Front, except funded by overseas-based multimillionaires, led by privately educated multimillionaires Richard Tice, Nigel Farage & Ben Habib, & with their own #propaganda channel, GB "News", funded by billionaire hedge-funder Paul Marshall.

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

People who put their feet on the seats on public transport should have their legs amputated

[Alethea Bernard @Tush27J]

WARNING
For the next 43 days, we will have two of the worst offenders on the 'lack of impartiality' scale, embarrassing themselves as they defend their precious Tories
Laura Kuenssberg and Fiona Bruce.
#bbcqt #BBCLauraK #GeneralElection4thJuly
#GeneralElection
#ToriesOut

[Acceptableinthe80s @intheeighties]

Here is the latest episode of Acceptable In The 80s with @kuntandthegang and me chatting all things April 1984 & some Pat Chat

https://t.co/J2VI6YgvND

#kuntandthegang #thekunts #comedy #comedypodcast #nostalgia #eighties #80s #pubes

[Acceptableinthe80s @intheeighties]

Here is the latest episode of Acceptable In The 80s with @kuntandthegang & Roy chatting all things March 1984 pop and “Easter in the life of Pat Roach”
https://t.co/F4zMh58Rnq

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

I don't care what happens after I die, as long as I get a full statistical breakdown of my life. Longest piss, highest blood alcohol level, total number of wanks. You know, the important stuff. I think about this way too often and will be livid if it doesn't happen.

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

I think we can all agree that AI art takes the joy out of creativity, deprives genuinely talented people of work, steals wholesale from real artists and, above all, looks utterly fucking dogshit.

[Derek Cöckhammer @DerekCockhammer]

@sdsalan @ChrisMcomedy @CarlDonnelly I'd have also accepted "Jimmy Corkhill's here"

[Molly McGuinness @mollmcguinness]

Hello! I’ve had a rough old time the last few months but the amazing Frog and Bucket + my lovely pals have put together a fundraiser show for me!🥺 I’m so unbelievably grateful and it’s such a killer line up. It’ll be a bloody gr8 night!! Tix avail now!

https://t.co/jPDQ7xlbWP

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

If you're an adult cycling on the FOOTpath, I'm not giving way or moving aside, get on the road, idiot.

[Tristan Jameson Cook @spursfantristan]

Dear television people, can u please fuck off with the xmas adverts already, Its fucking November!!! Thanks.. Ebeneezer Scrooge!! #BahHumbug

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

Pubs are not creches. Stop bringing your toddlers. Amazing as it may seem to parents, I don't want to sit through a cacophony of noise and watch shitty nappies being changed while I'm having a pint.

[Derek Cöckhammer @DerekCockhammer]

@29Crown @anon_opin Bobby Moore, I don't bloody' know, do I?

[Acceptableinthe80s @intheeighties]

SEPTEMBER 1983
ACCEPTABLE IN THE 80S PODCAST
OUT NOW
https://t.co/wTRkpGQDmW

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

To the people who decide to queue to the side of someone rather than directly and obviously behind them: what on earth do you think you’re doing? Your behaviour is odd and distressing. Stop it.

[Derek Cöckhammer @DerekCockhammer]

@MyNamei67155256 @anon_opin HE CANNAE SEE, MAN!

[Derek Cöckhammer @DerekCockhammer]

@anon_opin I've seen someone do it in the gym drinking water fountain

[Dr Ultra @drljultra]

@JeremyVineOn5 Whilst it's accepted there are fraudsters (e.g. ppl. who travel everywhere independently whilst claiming disabling conditions), the sums involved are dwarfed by tax fraud. Start with MPs and the Prime Minister's circle before targeting vulnerable groups.