Chicken Pot Pirate

Drunk texter. Scholar. 2011, 2013, 2022 Fantasy Football League Champ. Nomad. Welder. Cigarette lighter repairman. #broncoscountry enthusiast

[Chicken Pot Pirate @Derek_Withrow]

Every time Puka Nacua gets mentioned, I think of this

[Chicken Pot Pirate @Derek_Withrow]

@TJDMCR @HimJong_Un How many points did the Bills lose by?????? “Only” seems pretty fuckin significant here.

[Chicken Pot Pirate @Derek_Withrow]

@TJDMCR How many points yall lose by?

[Chicken Pot Pirate @Derek_Withrow]

@heidi_pepp90717 @SieversLuke @Imposter_Edits @danieltkelley You’re such a miserable, stupid fucking moron.

[Chicken Pot Pirate @Derek_Withrow]

@heidi_pepp90717 @Imposter_Edits @danieltkelley Mfer, what have YOU done for anyone? Get the fuck outta here

[brian @brianonhere]

Damn — that’s what i purchase my stuff with!

[jake @JakeSotir]

yeah I’m sure an all-female catholic school in indiana that has an 81% acceptance rate is just absolutely crawling with liberals lmao

[Project Hail Gooch @bobgoochman]

the fact that this guy is also the tortoise dresser guy from a couple weeks ago 😭

[يُ🍒 @soy_yura]

Me when a bad bitch tells me “No that’s not true what the fuck are you talking about”

[Chicken Pot Pirate @Derek_Withrow]

Me after thinking I just gave god-tier advice to a friend

[Alex Golden @AlexGoldenNBA]

Pacers TV had these fans on the broadcast, and she is NOT having it 😂

After he finally stops yapping, she says, “that’s you…what the f*** are you talking about?”

[Chicken Pot Pirate @Derek_Withrow]

The amount of autocorrecting of “just” and “and” to “jus” and “an” is repulsive.

[Chicken Pot Pirate @Derek_Withrow]

The iPhone keyboard is one of the hardest step backs in user-friendly tech. The amount of backspacing done to send a proper message. Garbage

[Chicken Pot Pirate @Derek_Withrow]

@doomerzoomer This sucks

[Onions in Taiwan 🧅 (Formerly Condemner) 𓅃𓅊 @SirOstapBender]

I need husband. Am from USA 🇱🇷 🥰❤️

[🥀_ Imposter_🥀 @Imposter_Edits]

If you can get beaten over your 1st amendment right, and murdered over your 2nd amendment right, you have no rights.

[Brent Terhune in Cincinnatti July 11 @BrentTerhune]

In the same way whispering wasn’t invented for compliments, having a secret police isn’t for good, legal and moral activity.

[Chicken Pot Pirate @Derek_Withrow]

@WEEI @Wachusett @drinkhighwest So many of you dweebs spout numbers and never watch ball. Numbers are a decent indicator but the more nuanced it gets the more context is needed. If numbers were everything draft busts wouldn’t exist

[Chicken Pot Pirate @Derek_Withrow]

“Whether you’re the heir apparent or last hope” AGHHGGGGHGGHH

[NFL on CBS 🏈 @NFLonCBS]

Patriots. Broncos. AFC Championship.

A win and you're one step away from immortality.

Legacies will be forged, history will be written.

[Chicken Pot Pirate @Derek_Withrow]

@tbaberr @JuanIsidro @OPinfernonewac1 He said North American, which SGA is.

[Mike Nelson @mikenelson586]

Erik the Red is smiling down from Heaven as Trump keeps mixing up Greenland and Iceland, happy to see his ruse finally worked