DestinyDonald

Parody account ran by @GuardianNewsNe . Not affiliated with any other parody’s. Take nothing you see here seriously, I’m just having a bit of fun.

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

Had a meeting with the wonderful Lakshmi-2. We are currently in talks with MANY outstanding people about repairing the old tower, and ALSO expanding the Wall that already surrounds our GREAT city! #Destiny #MakeTheCityGreatAgain

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

ITS A SHAME THAT DATA MINERS HAVE INFILTRATED OUR NETWORK! THIS INFORMATION WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ANNOUNCED AT AN UPCOMING RALLY! LAKSHMI IS CURRENTLY SEARCHING FOR THE LEAKER RIGHT NOW! VERY UPSET!!!

[GuardianNewsNetwork @GuardianNewsNe]

Speaker Candidate @DestinyDonald45 draws up plans to inject bleach into Taken Blights that have appeared around the tower, sources say.

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

Do not worry, Guardians! Osiris has assured me that these blights are not a problem and once I’m elected as speaker they will be gone! Lakshmi and I will protect you all! VOTE!!!

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

Osiris and I have been extremely busy testing this HUGE Crown! Osiris keeps mentioning a man named “Gahlran” and how great he was and how great I’ll be when I finally put on the Crown! EXCITED!!!

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

My hair is 100% REAL (and beautiful) EVERYONE says so! My good friend Osiris told me yesterday that I had the MOST excellent hair he’d ever seen!! Shaxx is just covering up for his Vanguard buddy Zavala. Who (funnily) DOESNT have any hair!!!

[GuardianNewsNetwork @GuardianNewsNe]

More tension in the tower? Lord Shaxx says that he’d “be surprised if Donald’s hair was even real”. “I mean just look at it, I’d be surprised if it stayed on his head for an entire crucible match!” Shaxx went on to say.

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

@DeltaCucumber WRONG!

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

My GREAT friend Osiris and I have been testing out this HUGE crown in the tower. He tells me that once I’m elected as Speaker I will have the privilege of wearing it! VERY HONORED!!!

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

The source was ME I sent them a picture of the Crown (with a funny caption), and told them that no LOSER who works for GNN could ever wear such a beautiful thing!

[GuardianNewsNetwork @GuardianNewsNe]

Speaker candidate @DestinyDonald45 using Hive/Cabal relic in the Tower sources say

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

Before heading back to the Last City I decided to go to Dreaming City to take nap (as you do) and I had the BEST dream: all of the citizens rose up as one and marched toward the sun (with me as leader). It was so beautiful. Inspiring!!!

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

Upon leaving the Tangled Shore I regret to inform you all that there isn’t actually a beach there with water. I am deeply disappointed because I was going to build an OUTSTANDING sand castle (the best). Melania is crying and our trip is ruined.

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

So important to VOTE for me (Donald Trump) as Speaker, and Lakshmi as Vice Speaker. Break away from Zavala and his new Radical Fallen friends. Protect your City, Guardians, Humanity, and sooo much more!

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

Register as a Donald voter now! And gets the EXCLUSIVE Sean Hannity Floaty Shell, available from my GOOD friends over at Eververse!!! HE WILL TELL YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT TO HEAR, GUARANTEED!!!

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

I’ve heard the song (it’s quite beautiful) and the Citizens deserve MUCH MUCH better than what their Vanguard has been giving them!! VOTE!!!!

[GuardianNewsNetwork @GuardianNewsNe]

Citizens of The Last City have adopted a new “song” as tensions between Humans and Eliksni rise, sources say.

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

No one has been more wrong, more often than Zavala. He supports the Fallen Insurrection, he has been opposed to the Stasis Subclasses (which has greatly helped our forces), he opposed the mission to take out Uldren, and he sided with Rasputin (which got us nowhere)!

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

Up VERY early this morning my Ghost (who I’ve named Sean Hannity) as been catching me up on ALL of the history of the Last City!

My good friend Spider treated me to a trip to the LOVELY Golf Course here in the Tangled Shore (I made this shot by the way).

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

F A K E N E W S!!

THE SHIP WAS 15 MILLION GLIMMER AND ONLY 5 MILLION WAS PAID WITH CAMPAIGN FUNDS!!!

[GuardianNewsNetwork @GuardianNewsNe]

BREAKING: Speaker candidate @DestinyDonald45 allegedly paid 8.5 million glimmer in campaign funds for new Dead Orbit Cruiser. Developing story.

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

WHAT READING TOO MUCH @GuardianNewsNe DOES TO YOUR BRAIN LOL

[Ryan @ryctwo]

@DestinyDonald45 I heard you payed for that cruiser using campaign money

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

Currently taking a cruiser that I purchase from Dead Orbit (VERY EXPENSIVE) to visit my GOOD friend Spider in the Tangled Shore! I hear it is a very lovely place with an extremely LOW crime rate!

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

VERY smart and wise people over at the Enclave News Network. Unlike @GuardianNewsNe who continues to write up laughably inaccurate reports about ME on a daily basis!

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

Protheon has a great and beautiful vision for his Collective, and only the Guardians, with me as Speaker, can make that vision come true. He will do the right thing because he is far too smart not to, and he does not want to disappoint his friend, Speaker Trump!

[DestinyDonald @DestinyDonald45]

Did your handlers write this for you, Joe (Sleepy)? Remember folks, a vote for the Vanguard is a vote for Joe to take many LOOOOONG naps on Tax Payers time!!!

[DestinyBiden @BidenDestiny]

@DestinyDonald45 This is uh... absolutely unacceptable. We need to uh.... support our Vanguard in all it's decisions to uh... do the thing and support the eliksni.