Bag Fumbler

Mr. All my shirts fit again

[Bag Fumbler @Dildis69]

My girlfriend is hot #hotgf #wowzeez #youwishyourgirlfriendwashotlikemine #awooga

[gal debored @ckayerawlings]

This is why nothing is funny anymore. We’re living the comedy but it uhh is real life so it sucks

[TheReportOfTheWeek @IAmReviewbrah]

Is There ANYTHING That Isn’t Getting Worse?
https://t.co/Mo3RhFZtWa

[ɖʀʊӄքǟ ӄʊռʟɛʏ 🇧🇹🇹🇩 @kunley_drukpa]

The Obama library is a Halo 3 map

[Arsenal @Arsenal]

We all deserve this ❤️

[benis 📺🐒 @BenisXDDDDDD]

when a circumcised male says something so mutilated you foreskinuinely gotta hit them with the intact stare

[Caleb Pitts @calebpitts1997]

Really don’t get the big deal with gas. just some crap you put in your car. Who cares

[The War Nerd @TheWarNerd]

I realize most consider human life uniquely valuable. I don't share that view. It's an old, complex hierarchy branching out across many other hierarchies. Here, for example, are two mammals. One is beautiful and rare; the other I would happily gut-shoot. https://t.co/o7i6l1yivG

[tippity @tippity]

RXKNephew lyrics

[Alan Smithee @AlanSmithee1987]

Tooze on the Dems: "You people are a bunch of sentimental schmucks who don't understand you lost. If you had any self-respect, you would not be on any podium again, ever, sounding off about anything. Because comrades if we were in the 30s I would have taken you out and shot you"

[noah kulwin @nkulw]

In 2026 we killin everyone who’s not woke

[donald boat @laserboat999]

I like how the Young Republicans all store their groyped mass in their central torso. They look like they've been genetically engineered to survive golf cart crashes

[dr. mohammed hamad - Gaza @Medo198518]

Victory is just around the corner

[bladee if he was mexican and could bench 315 @OfficialBrohoss]

[on phone with financial advisor] put 20% on canned goods, 10% on bindles, 30% on train cars, and the rest on fingerless gloves with holes on em

[donald boat @laserboat999]

What the fuck do you know about the wine-dark sea bro

[a @book3nds]

they call me lawrence of her labia

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

I wish you could dap up a pussy

[Display Name @MyAnnualFallOff]

Proposing to a beautiful woman as a 24 year old unemployed man living with his parents

[hi ✋😳 @singingflesh]

My wife: I think my water just broke

Me: (Not paying attention and tweeting "Fartin my ass off retard style") I'll buy you a new one