Dizzy Dad Diaries

These are special times, and if I can't laugh at my parenting, I'd probably cry.

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

*Drops ice on the floor. Instead of kicking under the fridge, picks it up and puts it in the sink. Thinks to self, “your kids are so lucky to have such a strong role model in their lives.”* #adulting #dadlife #parenting #parenthood

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

I hope my wife loves me as much when I lose all control of my bladder as she currently loves our 15-year-old fire hydrant of a dog... #dadlife #DogsBehavingVeryBadly

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

“He’s three,” they said. “It’s just a phase.”

Now he’s five and I’ve realized they never said how long the “phase” would last...

#dadlife #dadsquad #parenthood #ParentingProblems

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

@DaddyPoppinsBlg 🎶🎵Baby shark, do do do do do do...🎵🎶

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

I am secretly trying to get my kids to refer to our #Christmas ornaments as “shiny balls” because I, too, am apparently 7 years old... #dadlife #dadjokes #parenting #dadsquad

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

Some days I look at my 4yo and think, “he’s so much smarter than I was... he might go to @Harvard.”

Other days he gets out of the shower and still has his socks on... 🤦🏻‍♂️

#dadlife #dadsquad #parenting #parenthood #lifewithboys

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

Yep. #dadlife #parenthood #parenting #snackbitch #dad

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

#reasonmykidiscrying — the ketchup is too red.

#dadlife #parenting #parenthood #fatherhood

[Dad and Buried @DadandBuried]

Let’s get married and have kids so instead of using our years of education to change the world we can be butlers to tiny people who won’t stop screaming at us.

[SpacedMom @copymama]

[Dating]

I want to touch every inch of you

[On the couch 15 years later]

IF YOUR FUCKING CLAMMY FEET TOUCH ME ONE MORE TIME

[Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP]

Plot twist: Good Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

Sending your kid to #forstdayofschool in a taxi is the level of commitment to education we should all strive for... #dadlife #parenthood #parenting #school #EducationMatters

[TwinzerDad @TwinzerDad]

Just watched a guy load 8 gallons of chocolate milk into the back of his car. That's a dude I wanna party with.

#dadlife #parenting

[Dad and Buried @DadandBuried]

You ever wonder where your limit is?

Have kids, you’ll find out real quick.

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

“I won’t tell you again!”: the parental equivalent of Copy/Paste. #dadlife #parenting #parenthood #lifewithboys #ParentingIn5WordsOrLess #dad

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

And at least 3% “get that out of your mouth/nose.”

[BadMomLife @BadMomLife]

Raising kids is 95% yelling "WHAT?" from other rooms. #BADMomLife

[Khalani's Dad @hi_imkev]

😎😎😎 @LifeofDadShow #dads #dadlife #Toddlers #lifeofdad #kids

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

@iowacold @DadSquad_ I haven’t slept through the night in 7 and a half years... #dadlife #parenthood #lifewithboys #parenting

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

Life goals as a #Dad: to be cool enough again to one day have a drawer just for all of my #sunglasses.

#dadlife #parenting #parenthood #MidLifeDadCrisis

[Dizzy Dad Diaries @DizzyDadDiaries]

Love notes look a little different after you have kids... #dadlife #lifewithkids #parenthood #parenting