Adam J May

Owner American Mortals : He/Him

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@GOP Y’all can watch my pole! Call me Ben Grimm because when Kamala and Tim win I’m going to be all rocked up!

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@GOP 🚨🚨I noticed something really fucking off at the polls! It looks like someone put a fake businessman/fraudster/and rapist as the republican candidate, how could an obvious prank like that occur?

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@realDonaldTrump Eat a fart. 2 more sleeps until I never have to think about you again!

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@Talyn777 @jimmypardo

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

I’m at the gym and thought, “I wonder who @DhaniJones is voting for?” I hope it’s @VP

[Jason Kander @JasonKander]

“You know you have gender-neutral bathrooms in your home, right?” 🤯 @wkamaubell

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

I bet he's gonna walk through those pearly gates and ask the angels, "who wants to sex Mutumbo" #rip #Mutombo

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@tedcruz In that case I am overjoyed to inform you that you do not have my support! Also remember that time you ate a booger during a national debate?!

You’re the worst, and all the Simpsons writers agree. In fact, my guess is that 98% of the creators of your favorite things hate you!

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@MKTWgoldstein @FarFarrAway Life is fucking hard, don’t we deserve a bit of convenience?

Obviously, also Go Birds

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@SuperEgoRecords @joshgondelman @aimeemann @tedleo Will Paul, Nellie and Josh be at every show?

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@isaiahrmartin @thesixler Extremely Popular!

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@JesseThorn @kzsc YES! THANK YOU! Hearing that was like finally being able to reach the itch in the middle of my back! Love it, Love You, Love Jordan…Love Dan… I really like Haim too!

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@JesseThorn about to fall asleep and just remembered, was there a song called Maximum Fun performed at a live show years and years ago? Is that available anywhere, I remember loving it.

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@PaulTrigg You’re joking. I know some fat-toed mofos that could benefit

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@AFpost But is it Mental Health Proof glass?!

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@hughhewitt @VP Who the fuck is Hugh Hewitt? This shit is Hu-morous

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@JonathanTurley More like Jonathan Turdley! See what I did there.

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@anylaurie16 Purple Rain

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@VP please pick @GovTimWalz

[Adam J May @DocHollidayHair]

@AmericanAir No luggage came off of planes in Philadelphia last night. Is there any way to talk to a human being about the status of the bags? Tracking stops at them being loaded onto the plane in Bangor!