Donnie

millworker, single, beer drinker, Jameson black barrel is my poison of choice.

[Shannon @gardengirl125]

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools

[Jon @ArfMeasures]

God *creates a worm* hello little buddy!

Worm: Thanks for the "worm" welcome haha

God *creates birds*

[𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 @shezreading]

Forget going out and partying. I’d rather stay home and cuddle naked while we watch movies all night

[Allyson❤️Wonderland @AllysonSaysSo2]

💯

[Yikes is my catchphrase @big_yyikes]

You’re telling me a chicken fingered this dinner

[Reese @Reeseforsure]

I can see you’re in a very dark place

*followed

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

Twizzlers taste like as if someone was vaguely thinking of cherries whilst melting plastic bags into a pasta noodle press

[Man of Letters @manofletterz]

I've eaten so much garlic I'm now vampire proof

[megan.⚡️ @megantisocial]

about to start rebuilding my life.
y’all got any legos?

[˖ Ritz 𓂀 ݁˖ @ridhima_z]

sometimes i get so jealous of people with great social skills like what do you mean you can just talk to people and they talk to you and they like you wtf??

[Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking]

welcome to your 40s. Sitting somewhere and staring is now a fun activity you like to do

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Hard to know when someone is hitchhiking or just being supportive

[1993 @huuuhhx]

Being hot isn’t enough, you need to be weird too.

[DJB @Skinwalker5110]

Grabbing a random womans entire drink and chugging it down and then saying, "you're safe, nothing in your drink", is a great icebreaker in a bar.

[Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric]

Facebook: we have stories & reels.

Instagram: we have stories & reels.

Twitter: we have a lion who cheats on his wife and a moose with a drinking problem.

[Isaac @isaacturnersong]

An idea is a wish your brain makes

[Reese @Reeseforsure]

You know why you shouldn’t clean your car out? You’re gonna need that random napkin

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

explain it to me like i’m circumcised