Matt 👍🏼

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

Braves batters: “man, who’s this kid out here dicing us up?”

And it’s literally “JP Sears” 😂

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@a011235813 @unusual_whales @IfindRetards we got one ☝️

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@stockdatamarket Stegosaurus

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@luzthegoosey Talking about how else he can torpedo this season

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

Walt Weiss: "You can just do things, man."

[Atlanta Braves @Braves]

How we're lining up tonight ⤵️

#BravesCountry

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

I’ve heard enough. Mount up.

[OSINTtechnical @Osinttechnical]

One reason the US is considering acquiring Greenland is to secure access to seafood that could potentially bring back unlimited shrimp at Red Lobster. - US official to the New Yorker

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@Jomboy_ The Yankee way I guess. Can't win with talent.

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@DanBochman Skill issue

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@YourAnonNews Where did y’all think inches came from?

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@Redbeard_FB Exploded elbow happened

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

Pitcher could throw a banana and Riley will swing smh

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@unusual_whales “Please let us sell our pre-IPO shares to you bro. The stock is worth a quadrillion dollars, you just can’t see it yet bro. 🥺”

[TTI @TikTokInvestors]

@Kalshi amount of people about to get smoked by this thing will be beautiful to watch

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@RangerApologist Phillies embarrassingly too low

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@grace_monroe_tx Reasons they won’t:
1) they have to play an NL team

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@JesseBWatters Fuck your party and your war

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@klwoodjr Things do seem more difficult when you’re less good.

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@aaronmurray11 Ooh how contrarian of you 👀

[Matt 👍🏼 @DontMatttMe]

@BohmIsKing