Dr Dog

The MD stands for medical dog

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

DR DOG: would u be willing to donate ur organs
PATIENT: ya
DD: and ur bones?
P: my bones? Why?
DD (mouth watering): just answer the question

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

[performing an MRI on an oompa loompa]
NURSE: no way..it’s just as you expected
DR DOG: yep, he’s all nougat

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

DR DOG: For being such a good boy you get to pick a prize from the special drawer

KID: *opens drawer* There's nothing but Milk Bones in here

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

REPORTER: any advice you’d give to people during these trying times?

DR DOG: Stay the heck at home! Except cats....they can go to hell

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

MRS DOG: wanna watch a movie

DR DOG: not really

MRS DOG: i rented The Bone Collector

DR DOG: *already popping popcorn*

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

REPORTER: how long have you been practicing medicine

DR DOG: my owner trained me to heal at a very early age

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

@worthog Woof

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

PATIENT (becoming increasingly annoyed): is this gonna take much longer

DR DOG (fumbling around with a pen while trying to write a prescription): you know what...why don’t you try doing this with no thumbs

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

DR DOG: We need to talk about your weight.

PATIENT: I'm not fat. I'm just big boned.

DR DOG: *drooling everywhere* Just how big exactly?

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

MEDICAL DIRECTOR: you’re costing the hospital too much money
DR DOG: how so
MEDICAL DIRECTOR: you gave your patient today an xray
DR DOG: and?
MEDICAL DIRECTOR: he had an upset stomach
DR DOG (drooling over all them bones): better safe than sorry

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

@DogLovesWine *drooling*

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

DR DOG (looking over patient’s chart): there’s no good way to tell you this

PATIENT: I’m dying?!

DR DOG: haha no...i pooped in your shoe when you weren’t looking

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

@Dan_jd Did i ever really leave?

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

[medical school]
TEACHER: you lost your homework?
CLASSMATE: it was just right here I swear
DR DOG (satisfyingly rubbing his belly): haha that's so weird

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

DR DOG: would u be willing to donate ur organs
PATIENT: ya
DD: and ur bones?
P: my bones? Why?
DD (mouth watering): just answer the question

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

@Chubbies Woof woof

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

@ghostkrogh *places paw on your shoulder* im gonna tell you again...I’m not that kind of doctor, keith

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

@ghostkrogh Then why the hell did you post about it online

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

DR DOG: what's the problem?
PATIENT: my asshole's been really itchy lately
DR DOG (removes glasses): have you tried dragging across some carpet?

[Dr Dog @DrDogMD]

DR DOG (looking over student loan statement): Holy crap. I'll be paying these back til I'm... *doing maths on his paws* ...140!?!?