Tom Fucking Riddle

NOW THE MAGIC DON'T START TIL I WALK IN.

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

The McRib is back? Hot damn, I've been looking for something more painful than the Cruciatus! Feeding it to my enemies like yea...

[Lucius Malfoy @LMaIfoy]

The McRib is back, now with 23% less rat meat, per serving.

[Regulus A. Black @RABTweets]

McRib is back. McRib is Voldemort's nickname because Creepy Unicorn Blood Fed Cauldron Baby is too long to say.

[Lucius Malfoy @LMaIfoy]

Proof Justin Beiber's fanbase is a load of prepubescent girls, is their lack of empathy towards Lilly Allen miscarrying her child. Grow up.

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

No wand erection here. Firewhiskey dick's a motherfucker. ERECTO!

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

@The_Bellatrix And there's not enough happy hour going on. LESS INCEST, MORE FIREWHISKEY.

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

@The_Bellatrix Bitch that's nasty.Are you trying to kill my buzz?

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

@CelticRose1993 Your mum's so ugly, everybody calls her "She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked."

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

@HarryJPotterr You know self hate isn't attractive, even to drunk people. I left a Bieber album on Dumbledore's grave. Hope it helps.

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

@HarryJPotterr Because no one wants to make that much of a budget for your forehead. Go back to humping horses on Broadway.

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

@Lord_Voldemort7 Because You so two thousand and late BUT
I got that boom boom boom that future boom boom boom. By boom I mean Avada Kedavra

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

Bellatrix is sterile. Alecto's fugly. Lucius is a bitch. Female Death Eaters suck.

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

Million Pound Drop? Why are Crabbe and Goyle's births trending?

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

#thingsyouwishyoucouldsaybutcant Sirius. That moustache makes you look like a gay biker. Wait. He's dead. I'LL SAY WHAT I WANT.

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

A #luladay won't get me hammered. It's useless.

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

#howcome I gotta be killed by a tarded baby's forehead. That's fucked up.

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

#thingsyouwishyoucouldsaybutcant Lily Potter should have had an abortion. HOORAH

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

#uwascooluntil you strtedgirl drama. Newsflahhh:another girl cunt steal your guy if shez DEAD.

[Tom Fucking Riddle @DrunkVoldemort]

#badromance1year Story of Lily and James Potter. RAHRAHRARARRAHH