Dylan Ofner

intern hostage negotiator (ur welcome). prime time for story time

[Dylan Ofner @DylanOfner]

Losing my voice turnin up too hard

[James Duthie @tsnjamesduthie]

You are great people, Saskatchewan.

[Bob McKenzie @TSNBobMcKenzie]

Hard to believe it was 40 years ago today Terry Fox began his Marathon of Hope. I’ve always thought of Terry Fox as The Greatest Canadian ever, a seemingly ordinary young man who did such extraordinary things so courageously and inspired 🇨🇦’s sense of community and sacrifice.

[Dylan Ofner @DylanOfner]

#BarstoolJJs #BarstoolBestBar

[Josh Teves @Josh_Teves4]

No brainer of a trade. Thanks for the treat buddy👊🏻

[Dan Crenshaw @DanCrenshawTX]

If you think this is “sacrifice”, you are delusional.

All you’ve done is haphazardly denounced the entirety of our country because of its imperfections.

You and your fellow athletes have only succeeded in politicizing one of the few things that still unite us: sports.

[Bob Wilkie - President I Got Mind @igotmind]

Today was another day in my life that I failed. I can't recall a day in my life that I did not fail at something. The failures have become less impacting. I was once deadly afraid of failure. I have learned failure is the also on the road to success. The failure is not to try.

[Dylan Ofner @DylanOfner]

Not a big deeeal. Honoured to have hosted an all star & cup champion... so yeah it was actually kind of a big deal @ Quail's Gate Vineyards Estate Winery https://t.co/5BFyGAKcOg

[Dylan Ofner @DylanOfner]

@crackheadcass I’d still date you. Don’t die pls.

[Erin Herrmann @erinmherrmann]

my parents are such goofs they drove out to the backroads so my dad could play the cows the songs he’s been learning on the saxophone pt.1

[ABC News @ABC]

"Dude, that's insane!"

A massive Great White shark gave fishermen off the Jersey Shore a "once in a lifetime" experience when it came right up to their boat to eat a bag of fish bait. https://t.co/1N9ZD9uQxs

[Jason Kenney 🇨🇦🇺🇦🇮🇱 @jkenney]

BREAKING: A new poll out shows strong support amongst British Columbians for the Trans Mountain Pipeline expansion. 60% in favour, 29% opposed.

Only 15% are “strongly opposed.”

A tiny minority should not be allowed to block Canada’s economic progress. https://t.co/IcZB59KpBF

[Dylan Ofner @DylanOfner]

Pre-emptive tweet: fuck off Bettman

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

Twitter is fun because you get to be like, “Ducks are good” and someone in your mentions will go, “Um, I’m sorry but my brother is married to a duck scientist and this is a harmful view” and then someone else pops up going, “Your silence about horses is extremely telling”

[Howie Mandel @howiemandel]

I am absolutely stunned.

Not only did we feel authenticity in what Kodi did, his talent is also incredible. Congratulations on the #GoldenBuzzer @Kodileerocks. https://t.co/FwPt1kOauE

[Dylan Ofner @DylanOfner]

2019 Mission Hill Annual Golf Tournament Champions @ Two Eagles Golf Course & Academy https://t.co/C5k0BqJ5LQ

[Dylan Ofner @DylanOfner]

@spenny8 Wow shitty take. Oh god, you stooped to praising Hamilton? What a wretched day on twitter this is... my drank knight tainted by the wicked sorcery of foul d-zone coverage. I wish we all could’ve been better for you

[National Citizens Coalition @NatCitizens]

SCUM OF THE EARTH: After bankrupting Admiral Norman, the Trudeau PMO is abandoning their disgraceful show-trial of the decorated Canadian veteran after rampant push-back. SHARE if you believe Admiral Norman deserves a $10.5-million payout more than a convicted terrorist! #cdnpoli

[Dylan Ofner @DylanOfner]

Binnington is basically pulling a Cam Ward rn and I fucking love it #DoILookNervous?

[Dylan Ofner @DylanOfner]

@3caesarmacky @ShawnaGofABPoli You are a absolute moron & probably belong with all the dumb fucks down in the states. You will never see this in Alberta.. EVER. My brain can’t even comprehend how you think that the people who support YOUR premier, would tolerate this. Shame on you. Wake up.

[Dylan Ofner @DylanOfner]

@spenny8 @OldTakesExposed Hot take, cold take, no take, he just scored so fuck what do I know

[Dylan Ofner @DylanOfner]

Burns is a god damn liability on the ice. Get the puck out man you’re ruining my boy Vlasic’s +/-