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[Hffudgfdofıvı @EceTheBadger]

@GratefulFanOfSH @SimplyShelbs16 that drawing reminded me 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' they look so cool!

[Daniel Howell @danielhowell]

you people in school better be grateful for these exam memes

before twitter we just reacted by avoiding eye contact then going home to cry

[John H. Watson @contactJHW]

@wormwatsons @MakeThePattern_ @ContactSH Wonder Woman.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Honest job interview:

"What are your key skills?"
"I just quietly get on with things"

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Ways to say "I won't be coming"
1. I might pop down
2. I'll give you a text
3. I'll see how I feel
4. Sounds interesting

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Introducing yourself to a new neighbour before avoiding them forever

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

"I hope you haven't been waiting long?"

I've been waiting the exact amount of time between now and the time we agreed to meet

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Being unable to hear or read the words "fish and chips" without making it your next meal

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

How to fix something:
-Say "let's have a look"
-Describe the brokenness
-Break it a bit more
-Say "nah it's broken"
-Place hands on hips

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Knowing the conversation is in a desperate place when someone asks if you're up to much at the weekend and it's only Thursday

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

"Honestly, I'm fine" - Translation: Leave the room for your own safety

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

"Shall we eat outside?"

No

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Saying "bloody fly" every day from now until Winter

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Pub?

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

"I'm off to bed" - Translation: I'm off to stare at the ceiling while Monday becomes a thing again

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Going on a strict diet except for biscuits and everything else that's nice

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Saying "come on then, let's get you home" to your dog as an escape pod from chatty strangers

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Responding to someone saying no to tea by asking "is everything okay?"

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Two-word horror stories
"They're here"
"Sharing platter"
"Join in"
"Help yourself"
"Tickets please"
"It's fine"
"Monday tomorrow"
"Speak up"

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Brit 1: Sorry, are you in the queue?
Brit 2: Oh, no I'm not, sorry!
Brit 1: Oh, sorry!
<both Brits laugh uncontrollably with relief>

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

"You've got a missed call"

I know, I was staring at my phone as I was missing it