Ed Rated X

Eddie R.X., producer of some of your classier adult features, now put out to pasture just looking for some laughs!

[Ed Rated X @EdRatedX]

liance with any particular paper edition

[Tommy McNamara @TommyMcNam]

My parents are gonna FREAK when they see my tattoo of Gorbachev

[Alejandro NIGlesias @AlejandroDaGr8]

So, if McD's workers get this raise they demand will they stop lying about the McFlurry machine being broken?

[donni saphire @donni]

"What can I do to put you in this car trunk today?" -Car salesman/murderer

[donni saphire @donni]

Soup, this waiter is not hot! Maybe a 4 at best.

[$LifesUgly @_LUMP]

You cant spell gluttony without Tony.

[Steve @StandWithSteve]

Repeat I Will Not Judge No One Today 20 Times in a Row or more and watch how your spirit will feel free and you mind will be at peace.

[20th Century Fox @imabbylouise]

Having an efficiency apt means waking up tasting the smell coming from the bathroom.

[Pixel Piper @pixelpiper]

Twitter is the perfect place for the funeducated.

[donni saphire @donni]

"Employees Must Worship Hans." -Bathroom sign at Hans's Cult Restaurant

[donni saphire @donni]

If I accidentally forget to call and you flip out, I retroactively didn't call on purpose.

[Maria Popova @themarginalian]

5 essential children's books with hidden philosophy for grown-ups http://j.mp/hFp9Wz

[Miz Jules @jkrambles]

There is nothing and I do mean absolutely nothing sexier in this world as a woman who possesses copious amounts of both beauty and charm.

[donni saphire @donni]

In hindsight, couples-only skate was bullshit.

[Molly @Molly_Kats]

I've been informed by several virgins that 'Wookie' is spelled 'Wookiee.'

[Molly @Molly_Kats]

Going to church doesn't make you a good person. Try not being an asshole instead.

[☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot]

Amateur porn films should be called "skindies."

[☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot]

Pinky swear?
I middle finger swear.

[☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot]

I was wondering why my mind was racing at 200 MPH but then I remembered I only had 2 hours of sleep last night and everyone is an asshole.