Eli Winkle

Don’t you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

I relate to nothing better than the first two lines of Bob Seger's "Night Moves"

[PP @VivaLaPP]

#Bears

[Batavia Tennis @bataviagrlstnns]

IHSA Geneva Sectional
State Qualifying round

WINKLE WINS a 2 hour 45 minute marathon over Oswego 4-6,6-3,6-3!

Kohl Winkle is going to state!

[Seinfeld Current Day @Seinfeld2000]

CDC: fuck it mask off

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Dearest Mother—

I wish not to wake you in the still of night, as I load my chattels onto the carriage.

Pvt. Rodgers flees the Bay of Green as he hears the rumblings of my caravan. I must defend the Fields of Soldiers before they kneel to the King in the North.

Write often.
—JF

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

No please god

[Natalie Egenolf @NatalieEgenolf]

Source is telling me Bears deal for Wentz is close. Foles is speculated to be included with another offensive player and a first rounder. Buckle up.

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

Are you there, no one?
It’s me, faceless drone

Remember, you’re not alone: All our dreams die tomorrow regardless of who we are or what we believe, as there is no good and there is no justice.

There is only the sweet warm embrace of death.

Please continue to enjoy Arby’s

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

@vivalapp New Bears GM?

[Dayton Basketball @DaytonMBB]

𝐎𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲

Narrated by @Jalen_NoRose1

[Capt. Caleb Williams @CaptCSWilliams]

Citizens—

The Secretary of State has furnished three G.I. garments in memoriam of obtaining 10,000 patrons of the tabloid.

I shall award these garments and a handwritten letter to individuals who re-circulate and support the tabloid post or reply to me.

With gratitude.
—MT

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

Feels like we're in the middle of a fantasy football faceoff between the two worst teams in the league.

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

Start the tour, go wander around downstairs, then try to get back to where you started lmao

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

I wonder what Ken Bone is up to right now

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

Pay Harrison Butker two billion dollars

[Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps]

Portugal is actually smaller than Spain

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

@JohnnyRobinso19 Ur fat nerd

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

Just returned to twitter. Was not prepared for this much stimulation

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

@Sethwinl34 @Dardano6 @buccimane59 @mike_thayer @Jake_Toth15 Came back to Twitter for this. Love u doods

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

Imagine if you were in the military and one of your guys just got 360 no-scoped off a balcony while you're simultaneously being hit with a throwing knife from half a mile away

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

@vivalapp It never happened

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

@LukeWinkle That's the point

[Eli Winkle @EliWink12]

If ripped jeans are a fashion choice can we next make it a fashion choice to spill sauce on our clothes?