Emily Olinger (she/her)

my celebrity crush is the green m&m

[no @jaksunks]

“work husband” “work wife” try having 4 work grandpas

[joey @joboduj]

i dont mind when a cat attacks me i trust their judgement

[kayla @mitckm]

cats looove to wait until your edible hits to start acting super weird about a specific corner of the room

[HowlingKanye @HowlingKanye]

When I clean my apartment before a date I feel like a corrupt mayor hiding documents ahead of an audit.

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

girls trip!!!!!! Me and my girl cat were in the living room and now we are in the kitchen

[miri @mishtimere]

the dead horse is beating me

[Wholesome Side of 𝕏 @itsme_urstruly]

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i'm wiggling

[pink slime princess @bettyjaws]

slow blinking at the doctor who is about to euthanize me

[dan @Dansplainer]

when couples hoard together on hoarders i do find it pretty romantic

[bonnie @wineorexic]

weed turns me into such a millennial i be laughing my ass off at the office clips

[Klonopin Centaur @facetedcarapace]

oh you're wearing colored contacts? wow I didn't even notice. they definitely aren't the scariest thing I've seen all day

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

c'mon childproof weed packaging, you know it's me

[slommy @sammichluvrrr]

Being curious is so fun… What is that

[trash jones @jzux]

iPhone: heyyy we updated your iOS!

me: oh ok. is the new one better?

iPhone: no!! ❤️ everything is weird now

[mothman @grantisdumb]

Oh no I’m not doing a bump I’m just sniffing my house key because I’m homesick

[Sophie Vershbow @svershbow]

"let me ask chat gpt"
me:

[meredith 🍉 @dietz_meredith]

you ever see a dog so small you’re like. a shrink ray has been involved i just know it

[walker @walkercapl]

I'm having so much fun with you. Wouldn't it be fun to draw a clock right now?