emmalee

[emmalee @Emmalee_Maria]

When my sisters & I were younger we saw the Ned’s Declassified episode where they were gonna flush all the toilets in the school @ the same time & create an earthquake so naturally we each went to a bathroom and used walkie talkies and essentially attempted to blow our house up

[323 @Ggod323]

i swear my consequences don't even have actions

[AC 🇯🇵 @AC2802M]

Thank God it’s not snowing imagine shovelling snow in this heat

[Mira Gonzalez @miragonz]

nobody actually likes grapefruit they just wanna show off about not being on psych meds

[rich ceo @frolickmaxxer]

just asked my brother if he’d ever hit a woman.

he said no.

I said what if she came at you with a knife?

he laughed and said yeah.

really concerned for young men nowadays. why are we fantasizing violence against women

[miri @eggoslug]

the dead horse is beating me

[grace @gracefishlove]

I get rlly frightened when the washing machine gets to the scary part

[thi @gatoscinzas]

vocês só se importam com a crueldade animal quando é com cachorro e gato

[miri @eggoslug]

I got that deer in me im going to jump in front of your car

[Cuck Liddell @c0ck_l3snar]

pleading insanity when I go to court for an unpaid parking ticket

[grovy @grovymango]

I love Costco . The Costco sampler staff are allowed to touch me

[char ᢉ𐭩 @alcdec]

doomscrolling on twitter feels so much more productive than doomscrolling on tiktok bc it’s like i’m basically reading

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

Just had to administer narcan to a minion

[Buck @Buck36043Buck]

They should make a Zofran Vape

[fern || ☕️ in strawpage! @featherleafern]

they never even considered dr. pepper could be a woman. maybe they're bad people

[Yugoslavia Bank$ @27literhorse]

No honey you know I can't go out without my transphobic uterus shirt on

[maya @mayaviatwitta]

do you fw girls who pick the skin around their fingernails until they bleed

[Brooke from Let’s Not Date @TheLetsNotDate]

Every family celebrates Father’s Day differently. I celebrate by convincing men the woman that they just sent unsolicited penile photography to is their daughter.

[Sara McGee for Texas HD 132 @SaraForTexLege]

You feel lectured… by a sticker?

Girl. Are you ok?

[grace @gracefishlove]

Sorry about the mean things i said when i was right