Wiser than our brethren, we spot opportunity before all others. Lundstram, Connolly, Barnes, Dalot (they aren’t all winners) are but examples of our greatness..
Over three months have passed since @PonyFC1 fled from our impending victory. Word on the street is that the horses, not bats, caused the global pandemic with the hope of evading the oncoming drilling. Alas the time has come. Rear yourselves ponies and take it head on...
After extreme failings over the last few months, management have started a new apprentice style policy.
Every loss from now on will see the three greatest underperformers attend the boardroom to “save themselves”.
Before the next gameweek, one will go. #leadthroughfear
The club are looking into allegations that players are being bribed to throw matches by @FiveHeadFC1. There will be severe consequences if found to be true #miserylovescompany
The team is at its lowest point in three seasons and glooming on the horizon is yet another loss to the ever tragic @AthleticPoverty.
However we haven’t lost faith in captain @CallumWilson and know he will fire us to glory over the next few gameweeks!!
Monter soldat!
What can we say other than we are shocked to our very core. Losing to such a car crash of opposition players is hard to take. Ederson has been demoted to the bench for the rest of the season after failing in the simplest of tasks. All other players face being sold in January!
We’ve been in real trouble the last few GWs, losing credibility and honour on the pitch. We now have several injuries to further reduce our abilities. Regardless only minor changes have been made to both team and style of play. If the tories can succeed this way then so can we!
A good performance from the lads as we took down that imposter at the top of the league. We may be out of the CK Cup but now have a run of poor opposition in the league and can focus all efforts on being in 1st place by the end of the year. Next opponents are the ponies @PonyFC1
Having two Newcastle assets in the squad wasn’t working for us so we’ve opted for an 18 year old wonder kid. If football manager over the years has taught us anything, it’s that this will be the right move in 10 years time. Welcome Greenwood!
The ELG is in sync with the PL as the two titans go head to head, the outcome TBD by 18:30 on Sunday. Despite currently having “Villa” in 1st and “Norwich” in 3rd, we know @DisctatorshipFA are the real competition at this point. Luckily we’re accustomed to issuing disappointment.
@Al_Annon_FC We retract our earlier statement, your sand people were actually quite resilient and left us sweating. Good work getting rid of the dead weight and we wish you luck for the next 14 matches..
Finally! Spurs performance midweek permits us to grab our first victory in the CK Cup (we hate outperforming our feeder clubs). We’ll be handing out government issued food coupons to @MalnutritionCFC & @AusterityF at the matches as commiserations for witnessing this bloodbath.
We have failed to win two matches now due to poor team selection. So the manager has tactically brought in an injured player to reduce the selection choice. We are confident this will be enough to defeat the only team in the league with a worse twitter profile than us @WTWPosh