Pho 👑 Chef

Kitchens and Twitter share the same first rule: If you get your feelings hurt easy, this isn't for you.

[Pho 👑 Chef @ExBoltsFan]

It’s okay to be white
It’s okay to be black
It’s okay to be gay
It’s okay to be straight

But it’s never okay to order a steak well done.

[Pho 👑 Chef @ExBoltsFan]

Of all the things aging has taken from me, I miss pooping the most.

[𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚗 𝙼𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚜 @SkinMuffins]

Every week I find a new way to make my life harder.

[Trophy Knife @sarah1mc]

I’ve deleted tweets older than you.

[They Dragon U 🐉 @FoTweetsSake]

The people who still say Twitter and Tweets are my tribe.

[Pho 👑 Chef @ExBoltsFan]

I’ve never had a buzz ball.
But I have had a whiskey dick.

[Pho 👑 Chef @ExBoltsFan]

I have to say, all she did was try and run over a federal law enforcement officer. It’s not like she was trying to engage in debate on a collage campus or anything! Geez.

[Pho 👑 Chef @ExBoltsFan]

My sister in law uses so many filters I changed her contact name to Dia Lysis

[Pho 👑 Chef @ExBoltsFan]

Gurl! Is yo name https://t.co/vm1ozADIeT? Cuz u use all da filters.

[Pho 👑 Chef @ExBoltsFan]

Pouring tap water over your selfie because you used ALL the filters…

[CoCo @unhingebinge]

Sometimes I read a tweet and think "that's crazy."

Then I hit post.

[Pho 👑 Chef @ExBoltsFan]

@misstracykiss Well done. Congrats!

[DaddyJew @DaddyJew]

draw me like one of your conclusions

[𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚗 𝙼𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚜 @SkinMuffins]

If you were really trying to impress me you’d take me to the gun store.

[sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy]

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner?

Me: Wine. And unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

[Uncle Cocktail @StillRadNotaFad]

I'm ready to eat crow and apologize to the world if there's proof of Donald Trump committing a crime in the Epstein files. Can you say the opposite?

[Just a girl @dammit_amy]

Sorry, I gotta go home and feed my wall socket a fork.

[Pho 👑 Chef @ExBoltsFan]

@WallStreetApes You realize the government controls (the vast majority) student loans through the department of education. It’s basically a tax on education so you can get a job and pay more taxes. This is an argument as to why smaller government is better!

[Pho 👑 Chef @ExBoltsFan]

If you can afford to go without pay for 5 days, you’re striking for greed, not need.