Shamanda Faire

Mexican-Canadian chick, unlicensed sex therapist, and San Diego transplant. I like music, board games, and people who can make me laugh!

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@mitchellvii You need to take a knee, Nostra-dumbass: you look like an octopus in a ceiling fan,

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@todoist Except, reminders AREN'T free. Why are you lying about something that is so easy to disprove?

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@elonmusk I was just saying that the logo for this app would be much cooler if it looked like something a douchey edgelord would design for incels looking for an alternative to Grindr, and voila, here we are!

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@elonmusk @kylegriffin1 Do you really think "Massive attention" and "top story on Earth today" are good things when they reveal what an absolutely horrendous fail this was?

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

Robert Baker's Epiphone Firebird Giveaway https://t.co/RVG5UNaU9W

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@afrofatalism This reads like someone went to ChatGPT and entered, "Give me a movie review that sounds like English but written by a highschooler who doesn't understand how a thesaurus works."

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@Cobratate There's a fine line between believing in yourself and being a delusional idiot. Given your present circumstances, it's clear that you crossed that line a long time ago. Anybody dumb enough to take you seriously deserves their injuries from trying to fly.

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@atrupar Next on Matt Gaetz beclowns himself: "I would like to enter this into the record." (takes a shit on floor of congress)

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@esthercrawford Wow, this has NOT aged well. Has getting fired changed your mind, or are you still in thrall to your dark overlord?

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@bakedalaska We've been saying from the beginning that anyone who followed Trump is gullible and dumb. You're kind of the poster child for slow learners but hey, better late than never.

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@GOPLeader Why? Trump has said that he wants to void the constitution, and you haven't said shit about it. Is this reading supposed to be some kind of eulogy?

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@MattWallace888 @elonmusk When you were crafting this tweet, did you deliberately think, "How can I create the stupidest possible take on this issue, such that people think I'm a brain-dead moron?" If not, you chose a particularly unfortunate path.

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@KariLake I guess they also know a loser when they see one.

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@Mike_Pence To be fair, no President of the United States has ever tried to seditiously overthrow the government of the United States by sending a violent crowd against congress, either. Always a first time!

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@adamgreattweet @awkwardenabled If people say they’d like to have you for dinner, don’t accept.

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@xLiserx In Soviet Russia, woman is inside tampon!

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@aimessweethrt Dobby the house elf.

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@JeffJJIV @Bob_Janke @themicheniche I will, from this day forward, endeavor, whenever possible, to work into any conversation, “That’s mighty fine sitar playing, Mahatma!”

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

My dad’s favorite joke:
DAD: Did you know SCUBA is an acronym? It stands for Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
ME: Cool!
DAD: Did you know that TUBA is also an acronym?
ME: Really? What does it stand for?
DAD: Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

[Shamanda Faire @FaireShamanda]

@MollyJongFast @Perpetual_Now Why not both?