The Dean

"That's not funny" is your opinion.

[The Dean @FakeDeanAccount]

I may not be book smart but I can recite the opening saga cell from Quantum Leap with vigor and confidence

So fuck you

[Candy ☀️ 👙 🍹 @sweetAFmaybe]

Remember spin the bottle where if the bottle landed on you they either had to kiss you or give you a quarter? Let’s just say I owned a home fairly young.

[The Dean @FakeDeanAccount]

If Peter Parker had a blind friend or neighbor they would know, right?!

[The Dean @FakeDeanAccount]

It’s adorable how Dana White has no idea how douchey he is

[WWE @WWE]

.@DanhausenAD took over @SportsCenter earlier today with a message about #WWEBacklash this Saturday! 🔥

Stream #WWEBacklash  this Saturday on the ESPN App with an ESPN Unlimited plan!

[Kevin Nealon @kevin_nealon]

When my son was 10, he recognized that I was an older father and he was not happy about that, and I never considered that.

I walked into his bedroom one night, I could tell he'd been crying, puffy eyes, tears stained cheek. And I go, what's going on, buddy? Because I don't know his name. I’m never home.

My son said, I've just been thinking, I'm 10 now and you're 63. When I'm 20. You're gonna be 73. When I'm 30. You'll be 83. You won’t be around for a lot of my life. I said. Buddy buddy, buddy. What's his fucking name. I said I’ll be around for a long time. Don't you worry about that.

I'll be around when you graduate. I'll be around when you get married, when you have kids, I’ll be around for all that stuff. You just gotta make it happen in the next four years. Otherwise, yeah, you're probably right. I won't be around. He said, no, I'm serious. Dad.

Dad? he doesn't know my name either.

[zo𓆑 @b1tesnails]

changing my name to Disgusting Gesture

[Stu, For Real @StuForReal]

I once wrestled a three-legged goat. She kicked my ass

[The Dean @FakeDeanAccount]

I can’t be the only one to maturate the the song Regulate

[Stu, For Real @StuForReal]

Wait i thought bated breath meant jerking off with your mouth open

[The Dean @FakeDeanAccount]

I don’t like nor trust that “evaporated milk” is still in god damn liquid form

[Stu, For Real @StuForReal]

Whatever it is, i'm against it

[LaLaLyds @LaLa_Lyds]

Bring me back to the thrill of inside recess

[LaLaLyds @LaLa_Lyds]

You can plunge your hand deep into my bag of Doritos if you wanna

[Stu, For Real @StuForReal]

Hey fuck you and the golf cart you rode in on, buddy

[Stu, For Real @StuForReal]

All i know is that Andy Griffith would fix this shit

[Stu, For Real @StuForReal]

Be the gibbering idiot that you want to see in the world

[Stu, For Real @StuForReal]

Save the world?!? Not it

[Stu, For Real @StuForReal]

"Was Butler staged?" Seriously??? Like that wasn't straight from the WWE/ McMahon playbook. Come on, man

[Stu, For Real @StuForReal]

At my signal, unleash heck

[The Dean @FakeDeanAccount]

Ophthalmology is a dumb way to spell Ophthalmology… I said what I said