500_KnotsOfFog

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Copilot: "Gregg you should make an announcement"

Me: picks up PA-"ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo No.5"

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@GREIGEYESBIKER1 @AgentP22 No corruption north of the wall though eh?!

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@JohnFinnemore How’s Mr Burling doing today?

Is he on form?

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@1dogandme1 @AgentP22 No funding for Scotland?

Where the fuck do you thing the SNP got 400 million do blow on 2x50 million boats?

Moron

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*Spends 5000 on a gender reveal party

“OMG ITS A BOY”

10 years later Kevin is Chloe

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🎶 it’s a
Nice day for a, light sweater.

It’s a, nice day for a

Caaaardigaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnn

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@brandonmwlyons @prwhittle Nah I’m not really in to genocide

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What do I know about dwarves?

Very little

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Patrick Swayze has been dead for well over a decade.

Isn’t it about time he got round to releasing Ghost 2?

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Fuck October.

Fucking October

Christmas shite everywhere

And WORSE

The fucking heating has been turned on

Fuck fucking October

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You can use formaldehyde

Or the wish version

Casualdejekyl

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@Effiedeans One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.

Israel doesn’t exactly have clean hands and
No blame

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@Dogwelder2099 Eye weather

Leave the bacon baps alone they’re delicious and make faces and tummy’s happy

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@happyBrit17 Some ok rugs for infront of the fireplace

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I’m sorry the line is really bad, you say your name is Dr. who?

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I just had a Wookie Burger

Proper chewy

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Man I Love Flying

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Why doesn’t Head & Shoulders shampoo come with a body wash called Knees & Toes?

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Once upon a time it was called a jumpoline.

Then your mum got on one