..

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

Every baked good from the “viral” bakery next to my job tastes like fridge

[druscilla penny @xXssickboyyXx]

there’s this beautiful little french bakery around the corner from me, everything they make looks amazing…and yet it all tastes faintly of dish soap. i’ve gone back so many times, hoping they will have remedied this problem. every time, dish soap.

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

It’s almost like people with even a touch of social civility can read the vibe of an event ahead of time and think “my kids will be miserable here and it’ll only be a pain in the ass to drag them along, let me get a sitter” because it is that easy

[Bowtied German || 🐓 @bowtiedgerman]

My parents live in a New England town *exactly* like this and the thing that always stands out at events like this is the notable lack of children

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

She has the vocabulary of an 11th grader with a passion for the classics, which is cool, if you’re not in your 30s

[Leaks About Pop World @leaks_aboutpop]

“Sometimes, when people make fun of me, it’s really fun to make fun of them right back.

And sometimes I like using words that they have to look up in the dictionary before they can talk shit about me.”

— Taylor Swift.

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

Maybe I HAVE considered the guests and the guests considered don’t need a drink on my dime

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

People when you won’t bankroll their alcoholism on the night that celebrates your major life milestone in joining two lives together

[samanthamcfarland @SailorSammy93]

I hate hate HATE when people plan weddings and are like “well it’s about us the couple.” No a wedding is a party. You are having a very expensive party to celebrate you. You must consider guests when doing so. If it was really about the couple you guys could’ve just eloped.

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

Husband sleep talks but it’s stuff like baby talking the cats, saying “dude” like bart simpson and then shushing himself back to sleep, and general alien invasion type noises and sound effects. Always wakes up telling me he had the best dreams.

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

@FemoidFairy Lmao you’re argument is “you’re not depressed it’s just that everything in your life is going really bad because you have no support or boundaries and BECAUSE OF THAT you’re depressed” like you really got em dude what will you think up next you absolute genius

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

@lazerbian That already happens naturally and exists in the world. It’s called PCOS. We understand the physiological effects very well and that’s why you have no excuses in our book. I’m genuinely tickled by how smart you thought you were with this.

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

@VulgarMarxist @RealDianeYap You men say you want a “trad wife” but want you really want is a prostitute who can fold laundry. If it’s your job to make money, and her job to fuck you and take that money, that’s called a hooker, you fucking moron.

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

@ForeverThatG1RL I agree that the bill should be spilt no matter where you are eating but please dude The POS Is Not The Same Everywhere. I’ve worked in food service where our owner CREATED his own POS system. You’re Boomer is showing thinking you know more about the job than the people doing it

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

It’s men’s favorite past time at this point. Find you, decide they like you just enough to subject you to how fucking evil they are, and then when you transform into a version of yourself everyone hates because you’re constantly internalizing his bullshit, he finds new sexy girl!

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

@staystaystace They have less empathy than the dog they want to bring in. Dogs at least usually look concerned when babies cry, apparently this person gets sent into a rage. Dumber than a dog literally. Leave her in the hot car let the dog in to grab an espresso.

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

She said “the breeders have swarmed in” as if absolute seething distain for children isn’t a major signal that someone has sociopathic thoughts and feelings. Fucking dogs know to be gentle and patient to children but I’m guessing that’s more than you’re capable of.

[gremlin @chokeyourself__]

also btw I don’t think you have to bring your snotty, screaming crotch gremlin to the coffee shop and let it cough and scream while it shits up it's back and fills the diaper with piss around where people are eating and drinking. I think you can just like. have coffee at home

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

@anonymousREX17 Because our options are be alone or be with a man who wants us to keep our tits and fucking die to keep them. Men are lonely because they’re assholes women are lonely because they don’t want to be with assholes.

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

Men are lonely because of society tho guys remember that. Totally not because they think they should have a say in whether a woman makes an informed and intelligent decision on how to NOT DIE OF CANCER so their dick gets hard the exact specific way they like.

[MtnDogMan @MtnDogMan]

She made a life or death medical decision without even discussing it with her partner, THAT was the moment that her marriage ended.

The moment she is talking about, is the moment when she REALIZED that not involving the most important person in her life - in a life or death, decision - meant her marriage was already over.

And now she wants to blame it on him.

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

Please someone please tell me this post got deleted bc i was right

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

@bIoodfangs He’s cheating on someone with you and if you get obsessed over him you’ll figure it out and expose him so he’s trying to repulse you from him to save his relationship and hopefully make it impossible for him to cheat with you again if you think he’s an asshole.

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

@DumbOrangeCatt Snarky tone while excusing yourself of the task of critical thinking before you contribute an opinion to a subject is wild bro

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

@LaurenA_T Call for making a mustache out of tape is absolutely nuts we wonder why kids are soft af and don’t want to do anything THEYRE NOT ALLOWED TO DO ANYTHING APPARENTLY

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

@DumbOrangeCatt We are so cooked Yall don’t recognize AI, AT ALL. Yall are so fuckin dumb. Doesn’t matter that kids go to school after breakfast if the post ISNT REAL. Holy Christ we used to say “and then everyone clapped” after reading shit like that but you all just LOVE IT and eat it up

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

@bIoodfangs He’s cheating on someone with you and if you get obsessed over him you’ll figure it out and expose him so he’s trying to repulse you from him to save his relationship and hopefully make it impossible for him to cheat with you again if you think he’s an asshole.

[.. @Fe3dTheWorms]

Are we being checked at the door w/ a gun to our head and denied entry for not buying something? Why is everyone SO MAD if someone puts an expensive item on their registry when they KNOW rich aunt Sue is gonna buy it?Just actually don’t buy it? Bring a box of diapers and move on?

[Tweet is the Work 🌷 @NoblestCalling]

Probably going to get hate for this, but I have similar feelings towards baby registries for couples who waited a long time to have a baby as I do for wedding registries for couples who have been cohabitating for years. I'm still going to get you something and I am happy you are having a baby, but you are 40 year old lawyer and pharmacist with a $3000 stroller on your registry; I just don't have the same sense of urgency as for the registry for the 28 year old HS teacher and basketball coach who had to pay for fertility treatments