Felix Conran

Butcher, baker and candlestick maker.

[Felix Conran @FelixConran]

#NewProfilePic

[Felix Conran @FelixConran]

#UALgrads #LEGENDDDDDDDDDDD

[Felix Conran @FelixConran]

@SouthernRailUK Was supposed to arrive into balcombe at 13:22 from Gatwick, but "slipped by" the station... real classy

[Felix Conran @FelixConran]

@SouthernRailUK nice one chaps! Just drove straight past balcombe by mistake! So glad you have fucked my day again!

[Felix Conran @FelixConran]

@marksandspencer can't help think what the remaining 19% of this three part biscuit is... would love to know! base+caramel+chocolate+secrets

[Felix Conran @FelixConran]

@TLRailUK I think you'll find I was buying the ticket at 9:33. Thought morning peak ended at 9:30

[Felix Conran @FelixConran]

@TLRailUK explain this!

[Felix Conran @FelixConran]

@SouthernRailUK you absolute tossers, you total shit bags. It's taken me 3 hours three trains and a taxi to do a 40 minute journey €===3

[Felix Conran @FelixConran]

@LargePeas fuck you're the only reason Twitter exists. To make me gag with laughter

[Felix Conran @FelixConran]

@AdamBuxton an incred egg corn just happened "pull your finger out the bag!" A fabulous mix of, the cats out the bag and pull your thumb out

[Felix Conran @FelixConran]

@TfL thanks for that, let's hope!!!!

[Felix Conran @FelixConran]

@TfL it's like a airplane wash bag from an Emirates flight

[Felix Conran @FelixConran]

@TfL just left a pair of Bluetooth headphones in a small brown bag on a No73 bus that terminated prematurely by Angel station! Please help!

[LYRA Magazine @Lyra_Magazine]

Issue #1 available now. A beautiful, thoughtful and provocative interrogation into LUST in modern culture.

[LYRA Magazine @Lyra_Magazine]

We asked the product designer @FelixConran to name an object of desire. He chose tools. https://t.co/pnqJVp4SVi

[LYRA Magazine @Lyra_Magazine]

We've reached 95% of our goal! We're SO, SO CLOSE! Just 5 Hrs left! We need this Last push❤ https://t.co/AWky3S9WT7

[bob mortimer @RealBobMortimer]

CAT NAMES FOR SALE (ATOL protected)

Dusty Handmusic
Quality Parsnips
Edith's Tits
7 Hamburgers
Mike Drink

£8.00 each p.a.