FemibanxHassan

limited edition rapper, writer, voice actor, visually impaired..,

[FemibanxHassan @Femi__Banx]

Man2man with my mobile network.
Don't ask what network 😂.
#rap #Man2ManChallenge #cover #openverse #hiphop
@Dremodrizzy

[Lola Okunrin @lollypeezle]

You see this gbeborun thing, I nearly passed my bus stop.

God so good, I wasn’t standing. I was seated beside the window while a woman carrying a baby sat beside me. In my head, I prayed the child won’t disturb me when he starts crying as babies do but someone else did.

The man sitting behind me kept receiving calls and praying for people over the phone. I heard too many “Skillaparusi rankaterebaba dedeba” today. Seriously, he received up to 5 calls and he kept praying for them. I sensed he’s a pastor. I didn’t turn back. The prayers were not so loud but I could hear him clearly.

I leaned forward so I could stop hearing the prayers until the lady beside him asked him what time it was. I didn’t hear when she asked but I heard him say “9:13”. The next thing he did was to crack a joke and she started laughing. I can’t even remember the joke again but it wasn’t funny.

Now, he’s really cracking her up and saying all sorts to the extent that they even talked about KAI arresting people crossing the road at Ojota. Lest I forgot, please don’t cross the expressway when there’s provision for pedestrian bridge. 🙏

Back to my gbeborun. I leaned back well and noticed that the conversation is sweetening her to the extent that this pastor didn’t pick any of his calls again. I could hear his phone ring but he didn’t pick calls again. Approaching Palm grove, I heard “can I have your number, we can always talk”. She replied “Haa, nooo, I don’t want to have any conversation with any new man pass this o”. She said it jovially.

I was like “what is wrong with this one? give my bro number make una two take am off the bus jare”. I was expecting him to intensify efforts or chip in the pastoral part like “not what you think. I am a pastor and we can have one or two things to talk about in our spiritual lives”. I swear, that’s what I expected. Next thing he said was “you are a woman, I am a man. I see what is good, I approach and won’t let go”. I said “awwn, pastor sef get lines. Give this man number abeg”. Abi kin dasi ni 😡

Walahi, what I heard next from her bursted my head. She replied “is that not wedding ring on your finger?” I wanted to turn back like “wait. Wedding ring bawo? Pastorrrrr. You are married 😡” but the part that killed me happened next.😭😭

This man legit replied “oh, my wedding ring? wait, is it on my 4th finger?” 🙆‍♀️
Then he started counting his fingers. I heard “one two three, oh, it’s on the fourth one o but I like you and we can still be friends for a start”. Omo, men get boldness o.

She was laughing and I believed that’s the end of the road for onishinor pastor. I wanted to craze when I heard “0806467….”

Boom, Onipanu wa o. I have gotten to where I was going. Standing up from my seat and turning to see the lady, I understood why that guy’s marriage stopped existing inside BRT. Somewhere my own started. Onikaluku pelu tie.

[FemibanxHassan @Femi__Banx]

Omo. Short cake wey I dey lick small small make he for no finish quick that year🌝

[OkinBiscuitsLimited @OkinBiscuits]

We are working hard to make this Nigerian dream come true…

[FemibanxHassan @Femi__Banx]

@OkinBiscuits Omo. Short cake wey I dey lick small small make he for no finish quick that year🌝

[Naija Psycho🥸logist @9japsychologist]

@Morris_Monye Firstly how does the law prove beyond reasonable doubt the man is the father? Hearsay? The law to prosecute must establish facts by mandating a dna test paid by the accused, if accused can't afford, then the state takes responsibility. If positive,accused is given a payment plan

[FemibanxHassan @Femi__Banx]

@9japsychologist @Morris_Monye Correct👍

[Dammy Esquire., @Dammi_Esq]

IMPREGNATE ANY WOMAN OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IN LAGOS AND FACE THE LAW

You read that right. In Lagos State, if you make a woman pregnant, the law says you must take care of her until she gives birth. This includes providing food, a place to stay, and also hospital bills.

The Crim!nal Law of Lagos State, Section 277, makes it very clear.
If you abandon her, you can be fined up to N45,000 and still pay all maternity costs.

Then if the court gives you an order to take care of your responsibility and you refuse to obey, things can get worse for you.

Why did Lagos make this law?🤔
Because too many women have suffered alone while the men who got them pregnant disappear without taking responsibility. Lagos decided to put an end to that.

👉Right now, this law applies only in Lagos State.

If this happens to you and you want to report it, reach out to the following:
Lagos State Ministry of Justice
PROGRES
Email: [email protected]
Phone: [phone] (Monday-Friday, 9 AM-5 PM)
Office Address: Lagos State Ministry of Justice, Alausa, Ike ja, Lagos
OR
Office of the Public Defender (OPD).
Call 07080601080 or visit https://t.co/BYKRxoQCqg•

[Mr. El-Bonga @el_bonga]

George Weah won the FIFA World Player of the Year and Ballon d’Or in 1995, continued playing professional football until 2003, when he retired, then went back to school, obtained a secondary school certificate, travelled to the United States for a university degree and later a master’s degree, returned to Liberia, entered active politics, became a senator, contested for president, went into a run-off, won, was sworn in, completed his term and left office. His son, Timothy Weah, went on to become a professional footballer and represented the United States at the 2022 and 2026 World Cups. Meanwhile, Arsenal still hasn’t won the Champions League, despite reaching two finals under Wenger in 2006 and Arteta in 2026.

[SEUN Durojaiye 🇳🇬 @DurojaiyeSegun]

So, during my days at the University of Ado-Ekiti, I once left Ado and travelled to my friend’s place, far away from the campus, so he could put me through the night on a theorem and its proof. It was for MTH 403, which was scheduled for 8:30 a.m. I think the course was Functional Analysis.

We started our marathon reading at 5 p.m. and continued until 7 a.m. the following morning. We decided to take a short eye rest and planned to wake up by 7:30 a.m., since the cab ride from his place in Ido-Osi to campus was only about 30 minutes.

By the time we woke up at 7:35 a.m., the entire community had been deserted. The indigenes had taken cover. There were no cabs coming from Ado, and nobody was travelling from our location towards Ado.

It was already 7:50 a.m. when we realised there was a serious riot in the town over who was supposed to be crowned the next king. There were d+ad bodies littered across the streets.

I was crying and jumping around the room. I told my friend, “My world is crashing. What am I going to tell my mum? I can't afford to have an extra year.”

Then I told him, “It’s either I die or I go and write this exam. We have to treat this as a do-or-die affair.”

We both stepped out with our examination permits. The trek from Ido to Ado was about an hour and a half, while our three-unit course examination was only two hours.

We started the marathon, this time in race.

Halfway through, my friend fell and slumped. I picked him up and encouraged him, saying, “Mike, this is the exam that will determine our future. It’s better you get back on your feet and we continue.”

He got back up, and we continued.

A few minutes later, we saw hundreds of young and older men marching towards us, fully armed and dressed in traditional attire, designed to repel bullets and aids in vanishing.

At that point, I had already accepted my fate. I asked myself, “Is this how my life is going to end?”

The first man who approached us gave my friend, who was taller than me, a resounding slap. My guy fell three times and got back up each time.

I was crying and desperately explaining to them while stuttering that we were students and had an examination that was already ongoing.

Their leader, the Balogun, meaning warlord of the community, looked at me and asked which state we were from. We both replied, “Ekiti State ni sir.” it is Ekiti sir.

He then instructed one of his men to take us to campus on a motorcycle.

We eventually got into the examination hall at around 10 a.m. All our classmates turned to look at us.

I collected my question paper and started writing. For whole 30 minutes, I didn't raised my head. My hands were shaking, and I was writing solutions almost instinctively without even fully processing the questions.

At exactly 10:30 a.m., the examination ended.

When the results came out, I had 71 (A), while my friend scored 69 (B).

Today, that same friend, Michael, earned his PhD from the University of Michigan three years ago and is now an Associate Professor at the University of Missouri, United States.

Sometimes, behind the degrees we celebrate are stories of sleepless nights, fear, sacrifice, determination when giving up would have been the easiest option.

Also, never underestimate the journey behind someone's certificate regardless of the weight it's carrying.

[Bala 💀 @BalaiBB]

a guy went to buy a car from a dealer who is a friend of mine

the car cost about $30k, he paid in crypto

on spot he did the transaction to the dealer's addr

sent the transaction hash to the dealer

dealer saw the transaction on the blockchain and handed over the key

bro drove off, 10 min later the

[FemibanxHassan @Femi__Banx]

@Voluwaseun1 Helen Paul. So smart.

[🍃𝕺𝖑ú𝖜𝖆ṣ𝖊𝖚𝖓 lóòótọ́ @Voluwaseun1]

In a recent interview, Helen Paul said: "If you had known me years ago, all my teeth were brown. It was D1 of Keke Ogungbe, Dayo Adeneye, who called me by himself suddenly and said: "Helen, a job is coming. They said you're qualified but you don't have the look. And when I asked what's the look, they said your teeth."

I said: "Sir, these teeth have affected many of my jobs. So I am used to doing background jobs."

Then, he said there can be change and I asked how. He said he had a doctor friend, Emeka and he asked me to go to him. By the time the doctor checked, he said I would be spending over N2 million. I called D1 and told him I didn't have such money, but he said I shouldn't worry. Then, the doctor said he and Dayo would take care of it. They didn't know me before and I only saw Dayo on TV marketing Tuface.

So, I went for the crowning and changing of the teeth. So, my first appearance on television was for the Peak Talent Show. So, they gave me that money.

I called D1: "Sir, your percentage..."
And he said: Helen, as they paid you, you think they won't pay me more? Gerrout. Enjoy yourself, enjoy your talent. Welcome to a new world, Helen. Take care."
And that was it for me and Dayo.
-------------------
Helen Paul became Nigeria's first popular stand-up comedienne to become a professor in May 2022.

She was appointed Professor and Head of Department (H.O.D) of Arts, Music and Entertainment at Heart International University/Heart Bible International University in the USA.

She had earlier bagged a Ph.D in Theatre Arts from the University of Lagos in 2019 before going for postdoctoral studies in the US.

[FemibanxHassan @Femi__Banx]

@Austeiin I know a classmate in secondary school who paid just once. The only time he paid was in js1. and the rest were scholarships

[Babatunde Gbadamosi @BOGbadams]

Dear Lagosians,

If the last 27 years have taught you ANYTHING, anything at all, it should be this:

"Ojú bọ̀ọ̀rọ̀ ò gb'ọmọ l'ọ́wọ́ èkùrọ́".

The next elections really are about your future and that of your children.

I assure you, that in the competent, compassionate and capable hands of @GRVlagos and myself, Lagos State can be so much more than it is right now, and Lagosians should not be begging for their pension or anything else for that matter.

Lagos TRULY has no business with poverty, homelessness or hunger, and yet, here we are today.

We all want to take Lagos State to the next level, to even greater than the late great Alhaji Lateef Kayode Jakande took it.

To do that, we must resist the devils, and they shall surely flee before us, and together, we can Make Èkó Great Again. #MEGA2027

No more Mister Nice Guy.

Warmest Regards,

Babatunde O. Gbadamosi

[YabaLeftOnline @yabaleftonline]

“They have taken my money, all my savings from 2022. I was supposed to have about ₦3 million in my Access Bank account, but when I came back from Dubai to check, I couldn’t find even ₦1,000. I was told my SIM card was given to someone else, and the person has been withdrawing ₦20,000 from the account since 2024” — Lady cries for help.

[TobyWrites @tobyasky]

This is so funny 😭

We remember the Ghana herbalist at the World Cup who was blowing powder right?

He became popular & became a visa agent all of a sudden. People trusted him, and he scammed 13 of them😭😭

Bro is in court now, these are the victims

[SlimBuck 🇳🇬 🇬🇧 @buck_world]

@Modenine - WHAT WE KNOW ft SlimBuck & Rae

OUT NOW on all platforms

[Queen Bee 👑 🐝 @RealQueenBee__]

"BOLA THINK SAY HE DEY SMART"

You took money away from Nigerians in the name of subsidy removal and gave it to the Governors in return for their votes and support.

Now the election is almost here and you realised that the Governors can't deliver you, and you've now came back to ask Nigerians, the same people you took away monies from their pockets to go and hold the Governors accountable.

BABA, did you tell Nigerians that you're going to give the monies to the Governors?

Did you tell Nigerians before giving or when you're giving the Governors the monies?

What would they use to hold the Governors accountable?

OGA, you better go and hold them accountable yourself, leave Nigerians out of this.

[FemibanxHassan @Femi__Banx]

@Themrbachelor The shawarma guy just dey form throaay face ni o. Him self get cut for there.

[FemibanxHassan @Femi__Banx]

This is actually impossible for me. If my roommates don't call me. My course mates would. Even if people hate you. They would use that opportunity to slap away the sleep from your face. 😂😂. You won't be angry with them for saving your life.

[Sir David Onyemaizu🦍 @SirDavidBent]

During my 100 level days in OAU, there was a guy in my block who was preparing serious for MTH 101 exam.

He read all through the night and even ignored his roommates who were advising him to sleep a little.

The test was scheduled for 8:00 am in the morning, so he stopped reading around 6:30 and decided to shower and get dressed.

After dressing up, he started to feel sleepy, so he told his roommates who were getting ready for class to wake him up by 7:30, so he could go to the exam hall.

That was how he slept off.

What woke him up was the rays of sunlight shining down on his face because his bunk was close to the window.

That was how he shouted: “ORO O! ORO O! ORO O!”

The time was 1:00pm in the afternoon.

MTH 101 exam was long over.💀

[The Biblical Man @Biblicalman]

Dolly Parton is dead, and the church never knew what to do with her.

Half my feed is posting rhinestones today. The other half never trusted her, because she would not wear the uniform.

She never preached a sermon.

She just did the works.

One man. Fifty-eight years. In an industry that eats marriages. No scandal reel, no reality show, no trading up. Just Carl, and a promise kept until death did them part.

She could have built towers in Nashville. Instead she built in the mountains she came from, so the people she came from could work.

Two hundred million books. Given away to children, free, no strings, while the rest of us argued about what to read.

A million dollars for a vaccine in the middle of a plague, and she called it what it was: helping.

She was a feminist who never used the word, a superstar who never left home, and a believer who never made you watch her pray.

"Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works." James 2:18.

We spent years asking whether she was one of ours.

She never asked whether we were one of hers. She was too busy feeding children.

I do not know her heart. That was never my job. I know her works, because the whole county she came from lives on them.

"Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." Matthew 7:20.

You want to honor her today? Put down the tribute post. Put a book in a kid's hands. Stay married. Do the works.

That was the whole sermon. She just never said it out loud.