Faye Osborne

Never give up on something you really want. It's difficult to wait, but more difficult to regret.

[Faye Osborne @FilimonRychik]

Why couldn't the ghost get a drink at the bar? They don't serve SPIRITS!

[Faye Osborne @FilimonRychik]

If you tickle my feet, I am not responsible for what happens to your face.

[Jan Fitch @panchev_s]

No... I'm not drunk.. Floors need hugs too.

[Christina White @kgrenkov1]

Everytime I think I've hit the bottom, someone lends me a shovel.

[Faye Osborne @FilimonRychik]

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography." - Mark Twain

[Jung Kellum @AysedoraMr]

When I've already said what? three times and still have no idea what the person said, so I just agree.

[Margaret Velazquez @irakliybelchen1]

I had a photographic memory but it was never developed.

[Faye Osborne @FilimonRychik]

Do you ever just wanna grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper "no one gives a fuck"

[Faye Osborne @FilimonRychik]

I opened up a bottle of coke and it said, "Sorry, you didn't win". I didn't even know I was playing, yet I was still disappointed.

[Frances Taylor @amagdalyuk]

She wants to fall in love with you but she's afraid of getting hurt, afraid of lies, and afraid she'll end up with only tears in her eyes.

[Faye Osborne @FilimonRychik]

Whenever someone rings the doorbell, my dog always assumes it's for him.

[Faye Osborne @FilimonRychik]

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with those automatic coupon takers at the supermarket.

[Faye Osborne @FilimonRychik]

Wifi & Wife? Neighbors Have An Eye On Both Of Them.

[Faye Osborne @FilimonRychik]

I don't hate you it's just...... No I hate you.

[Faye Osborne @FilimonRychik]

Teacher: How can we keep our school clean? Student: By staying at home.

[Faye Osborne @FilimonRychik]

I would go through many things for you. Let's start with your bank account.

[Faye Osborne @FilimonRychik]

I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again.

[Faye Osborne @FilimonRychik]

I hope there's a day when Cancer is just a Zodiac Sign.

[Marcia Rock @85Ilariya]

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.