Jan Fitch

I'm not gonna change for anyone, I don't care what people think, because I am me, and proud of it.

[Jan Fitch @panchev_s]

Police: "What's your emergency?" Me: "2 girls are fighting over me!" Police: "So what's the problem sir?" Me: "The ugly one is winning!"

[Jan Fitch @panchev_s]

Son asked about sex..."Well son, it's like bees. When they poke something, their stinger gets ripped off & they die. Then a bird eats them."

[Jan Fitch @panchev_s]

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

[Arlene Palmer @KParnova77]

To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me?! Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!

[Rowena Dowdle @turchenkok1]

When you are losing an argument on the internet, remember that attacking your opponents spelling and punctuation is always advisable.

[Julianne Sites @2016Steshenko]

To do is to be [Descartes]. To be is to do [Voltaire]. Do be do be do [Frank Sinatra].

[Jan Fitch @panchev_s]

No... I'm not drunk.. Floors need hugs too.

[Terri Reichard @bredikhinpolik1]

"Don't try this at home" Okay, I will try it at my friend's place.

[Betty Knapp @83_klim]

If you tickle me, I'm not responsible for your injuries

[Jan Fitch @panchev_s]

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

[Lillian Buck @SofioKirtok]

You look like a Barbie!" "Thanks, tall and beautiful right?" "No, plastic and without brain.

[Mary Nicholson @AsonovMs]

I hate it when my boss calls my name and I automatically think "What the hell did I do now?"

[Jan Fitch @panchev_s]

Saying you'll wake up EARLY to get something done... then when you wake up, convincing yourself it's not important.

[Jan Fitch @panchev_s]

That awkward moment when someone asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.

[Jan Fitch @panchev_s]

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

[Arlene Andreasen @igromak1]

I would go through many things for you. Let's start with your bank account.

[Jan Fitch @panchev_s]

"Please don't see me, please don't see me, please don't see me..." "HEYYYYY!" "Shit..."

[Jan Fitch @panchev_s]

The Gaga Law (RAH)^2 (AH)^3 + RO (MA + MAMA) + (GA)^2 + OOH(LA)^2 = Bad Romance.