Former Mega Church

We are a church that used to run 4,000, now we are running 30 but we're still having a blast!

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

We are the finest church you will ever have the privilege of leaving.

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

To answer two recent questions:

Yes, that is our pastor that has been seen down town begging for change.

No, it is not a ministry or social experiment.

Hope that clears things up.

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

Invite your family to our Christmas Comedy Variety Show this year. You won’t regret it!
They will, but you definitely won’t.

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

I wonder if Daniel got as grumpy during his Daniel fasts as our church members do. #DanielFast

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

@SavagelyAvg That’s… beautiful man

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

@MillennialMimi With the cheat code… absolutely!
Without the cheat code… no comment.

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

The new pastor has been here 3 years. We’re starting to think he’s realizing the way the congregation treats him is no longer “hazing”. #TheyAreMean

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

@TheMuppetPastor Aaaahhh… that’s better.

[Skeletor 🧼🧽🫧 @TheMuppetPastor]

The magic of the gospel is that ANYONE who repents and believes can be saved.

That means serial killers, racists, slavers, narcos, prostitutes, OF girls, politicians, abusers, cheaters, bullies, and liars.

““Seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:6-9 ESV

Why?

Because.

God’s ways are infinitely superior to our own. He sent Jesus to be the final sacrifice for all humans, even thought we could never pay it alone.

That’s the only explanation we’ll ever get, and the only one we’ll ever need.

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

@Joshua_M_Hump You’ll be on our prayer list. 😁

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

@TheMuppetPastor At least it was one of those rare meetings when something actually got done.

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

@toys_retro We just avoided the end times. 😂

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

@SavagelyAvg Bless God!

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

If you were disappointed with the Tyson/Ryan fight last night, come and check out FMC tomorrow!
We usually have a fistfight in the foyer and our livestream is ALWAYS unreliable.

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

Great news the internet… we’re back!!! New pastor, new password.

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

@millsalice144 This is the absolute best way I’ve ever heard it described!! 😂😂

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

The search for a new pastor is ON! We are very excited to see what happens. Get those resumés rolling in! The Associate Pastor will look them over after his meeting with his probation officer tonight. #newpastorFMC

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

Well, our pastor left the church. Apparently facing every day with a crumbling 200,000 square foot facility, crippling debt, and a congregation resistant to do anything different isn’t for everybody. #wimp

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

Sorry to all of our members that didn’t receive birthday cards in 2023. The lady that sends them out died and we didn’t know.

[Former Mega Church @FmrMegaChurch]

To answer some complaints:
Yes, the coffee shop has been reusing K-cups. Times are tough!