Parker

only you can save yourself

[Parker @Fryurson]

Her: I like dogs

Me:

[Parker @Fryurson]

@DCheverere I thought it was a Panama hat?

[Parker @Fryurson]

@Nextdoor I’d rather die by a threat in my neighborhood than ever get an email from you again

[Parker @Fryurson]

If you can watch the Masters at work your job will be replaced by AI

[Parker @Fryurson]

I’m queuing the same song for the gym that’s playing in my headphones

[Parker @Fryurson]

Ozempic got y’all girl’s heads looking huge on those tiny necks and bodies 😂

[Parker @Fryurson]

.@grok she say she a homebody but she’s on the club’s instagram on multiple occasions. What does this mean?

[Parker @Fryurson]

If you come in my gym and queue edm for all of us to listen to I genuinely hate you

[Parker @Fryurson]

@DCheverere allow me to be the first to say congratulations

[Parker @Fryurson]

If you’re going to drop your weights just make sure they’re heavy

[Parker @Fryurson]

Glaring lack of world leaders killing each other over women rn

[Parker @Fryurson]

I do not need group chats in Spotify man

[Parker @Fryurson]

I am not tapping the post to hear the stupid song. Just show me the hot girl’s @ @instagram

[rumpel⚙️🔫 @rumpel_irving]

When I’m going somewhere with my homie’s girlfriend without my homie

[Parker @Fryurson]

@rfkenmore You could hit the gym and fill it out the old fashion way

[Parker @Fryurson]

Spot the difference

[Parker @Fryurson]

@DCheverere @willdefries @JaredBorislow @whatsupboosh @lildickytweets Dan got that Philly grip on the bottle

[Parker @Fryurson]

https://t.co/xkFfJMy33K

[OpenAI @OpenAI]

@btibor91 👀

https://t.co/BPT9kKuenb

[Parker @Fryurson]

Yeah walk my food back here to me in the drive through so I can sit through the line anyway. Let's worry about buddy up front big man.

[Parker @Fryurson]

Gotta host these clowns when you can't host a playoff game

[INSIDE THE GAMECOCKS 🐔🤙🏻 @InsideGamecocks]

Clemson will host the following in May & June

George Strait
Cody Johnson
Wyatt Flores
Morgan Wallen
Brooks & Dunn
Gavin Adcock
Ella Langley
WOW

[Parker @Fryurson]

This just in: Madison Beer is hot

[Qsama bin Johnston @QsamaBJohnston]

Madison Beer has gone from lesser-known musician to hanging out with celebrities like Ladd McConkey since she started dating Justin Herbert