cowboy

sometimes I feel like Jesus Christ

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

Years ago I read an article about a man that died when a porta potty exploded and it had a quote from a detective on the scene who said “something must’ve gone horribly wrong” and I think about that quote all the time.

[cowboy @GayWithMyDad]

When ur not the main character

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA @logmouth7]

Nothing I have ever done or even been tangentially related to has ever mattered even a little bit and I have lived my whole life in the city that is arguably most full of people that matter in the country. This has done unfortunate things to my brain.

[Omaha Scanner @omaha_scanner]

Earlier this morning, medics were called for a 60s male who said there was a raccoon on his back that was biting him and he wasn’t able to get it off of him.
#OmahaScanner

[the giant @chaser_bait]

i was speaking to a lovely older french woman whose doctor wants her to quit cigarettes and she said “without cigarettes i am no longer human, they want me to be an animal”

[CooperBaggs 💰🍞 @edgaralandough]

The final stage of healing is becoming a fucking weirdo again. Where you’re so powerful and so free inside yourself you just don’t give a shit. It’s all art. It’s all life. It’s all beautiful. That’s the fucking point.

[cowboy @GayWithMyDad]

@gaytears *husband. Cuz I barely get on here anymore

[cowboy @GayWithMyDad]

@gaytears U are

[cowboy @GayWithMyDad]

@gaytears Ily

[Guy @nosilverv]

If a place is 10 minutes away, you walk. If it’s 20 minutes away, you drive and arrive in 5. Likewise if your suffering is ordinary, you'll endure a life of quiet desperation. But if it's extraordinary, you might be forced to discover that the rays of Heaven shine even unto Hell.

[cowboy @GayWithMyDad]

When times are tough there’s one constant I know will always be there. The horror

[anna @hard_boiledbabe]

Abysmal vibes in the groupchat today

[jz2 @mixedgrass666]

It’s good to drink a lot of alcohol so that when you need a straightforward way to improve your life you can stop drinking

[blue @bluewmist]

i regret to inform you that personal growth rarely comes from acquiring new knowledge and almost always from:
•getting humiliated

•showing up terrified and doing it anyway

•admitting you might be the problem

[Hoops McCann @ravidravidravid]

when i was 8 i saw santa claus tear my neighbor’s dog in half

[Caiman | Private Investigator @CaimanPI]

Maybe putting a retarded South African and his army of faggot software devs in charge of government spending was a bad idea

[Pierre L’Fauex @LFauexProd]

Americans love cars because they combine their two favorite things: sitting down and killing people

[audrey 🔜 right behind you @iTrollWomen]

i just got an instagram ad that was bodycam footage of a cop shooting a cow in the head point blank

[Losing it @prophethusband]

Text from mom: My cousin died last night. Her house caught fire. Maybe arson. She was 87. You met her once in 1997.

Me: I’m so sorry to hear that. Let me know if you wanna call

Mom: 👍 How do I watch Netflix on ipad

[Scotty Cameron @twitscotty]

I'm a connoisseur of dumb redneck shit and it's been years since something has impressed me. Don't let the flawlessness of its execution rob you of awe of its skill and danger.