Just Married Dave

My name is Dave. No I'm not in drag. No I don't have a mustache. I just got wed & I'm not on drugs.Once abducted by an alien & probed by a pineapple

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

FUCK OFF PINEAPPLES!!!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

FUCK OFF, PINEAPPLES!!!!!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

DEATH TO PINEAPPLES!!!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@AuroraJansen AND I AM FREEEEE!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@AuroraJansen THERE IS TOO MUCH FLUFF!!!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@AuroraJansen SHIT. I'M STUCK.

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@AuroraJansen I AM ROLLING UP IN A FUR RUG AND PURRING NOW!!!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@PiNeAkofREVO

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

FUCKING PINEAPPLE!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@JodieDavidsPI OH YES YOU DO!!!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

BABY, I DID A THING!!! @JodieDavidsPI

[Paxton Parsons @PaxParsons]

Here are your GMs so far:

Lance Winters ~ Flagstaff Red Pines
Tristan LeClochard ~ Alaska Ice Storm
@A_L_Ouellette ~ Quebec City Explorers
Steve Stephens ~ London Sovereign
@GoldenElbowCade ~ New York Liberty
William Jones ~ Victoria Bulldogs
@GirlCalledDave ~ Houston Hustlers

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@JodieDavidsPI Also:

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@JodieDavidsPI YOU KNOW MY DREAM WAS ALWAYS TO BE CHAD MICHAEL MICHAELS ON A SHEEPSKIN RUG, COMBING MY HAIR WITH WHALE BONE AND EATING CHICKEN!

THIS IS MY CHANCE!!!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@JodieDavidsPI Still our house in off-season and non game weekends?!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@JodieDavidsPI WHICH IS WHY MY TEAM WILL BE THE BEST AS WE WILL BE PREPARED FOR THE LACK OF ICE AND THEY WILL BRING THEIR SNOWMAN FROM CANADA LAND AND THEY WILL MELT!!!

IT'S GENIUS!!!

...

Can we go to Houston and I will show you my BEWBS!!!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@JodieDavidsPI I'M MANAGING A FROSTY HOCKS TEAM!!!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@JodieDavidsPI YOU'RE WELCOME!!!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@JodieDavidsPI YOU JUST KNOW I AM STORMING IN THERE AND THROWING OUT THE VENGEFUL SPANKS OF DOOOOOOM!!!

I'LL SHOW HER!!!

[Just Married Dave @GirlCalledDave]

@JodieDavidsPI You're having an affair with that super hot bitch!

GODDAMN THAT BITCH AND HER SUPER HOTNESS AND DOING ABILITY!