Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat

He/him, 27, PNW, cast iron pansexual. I don’t know shit about dick and neither do you. I was born in the summer of my twenty seventh year.

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@Sheddytheboi @renfrowhunter You are living in a different reality from me if you think Usain Bolt can eat nine hot dogs in the time it takes Joey Chestnut to run a hundred meters

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

i went to awesome hair town and they told me you’re the mayor?

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

Putting out my joint and putting on a shirt to go inside the gas station

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

when you tell a pretty girl a cool animal fact and she responds with a follow up question

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@InfiniTokens @SaffronOlive @andersoneclair @BigDiff7 👍

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@InfiniTokens @SaffronOlive @andersoneclair @BigDiff7 When what I’m paying for is a blank piece of cardboard I think I’m happy to buy the cheap one but your marketing hustle is commendable you’ve really got everybody convinced

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@SaffronOlive @andersoneclair @BigDiff7 @InfiniTokens There’s no difference but MTG people will get butthurt if you suggest an alternative to whatever boutique erasable flash card you can buy at some hypothetical LGS that actually carries them

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

Sports commentator admits he’s never spoken to an actual baseball player

[KFC @KFCBarstool]

I have not talked to a single person in real life who even cares 1% about the WBC. People almost offended that I even asked the question. Its exclusively baseball dorks on social media like @Jared_Carrabis LYING THRU THEIR TEETH. “Rivals Game 7 of the World Series” 😂😂 get LAWST

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

The people playing the game get to decide which games are the most important ones. You’re throwing a tantrum because these players care more about the game than the money

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

“We should cancel the tournament that the players care about the most because a bunch of white spectators in the US want them healthy to play in their pro league” is a fuckin garbage take. It’s anti-baseball. It’s un-american.

[Keith Olbermann @KeithOlbermann]

First Freddie Freeman, now Edwin Diaz.

The WBC is a meaningless exhibition series designed to: get YOU to buy another uniform, to hell with the real season, and split up teammates based on where their grandmothers got laid.

Call it off. Now.

https://t.co/A5IT4rJWON

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@dirtbagqueer In all the sim racing games I’ve driven F1 in I’ve never found one where I could have fun racing against AI’s. Just controlling the car at all has a massive learning curve. There’s no way to make it realistic AND authentic because the actual car is nearly impossible to drive irl

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@TorreyJaeckle @joncampling @DianeRavitch @vanguard_pod You aren’t entitled to polite engagement

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@HannahDrake628 @notcapnamerica All because you’re claiming to believe they are dangerous

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@SamuelHBlack I have tried to have this conversation with cEDH people and I basically just got told “🤷‍♂️guess it’s just not for you”

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@PWPMtG I could not care less about the 1/1 card. I’m not gonna open it and I can’t afford to buy it so it might as well not exist

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@timswheelbarrow Nah I think the gameplay is boring too. Thoracle is the main thing keeping me from playing more cEDH than casual. I basically don’t consume Magic content outside of twitter.

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@edhrec Keruga

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@golgariguy Yeah if I end up with one it will definitely find a home in a white deck with no blue.

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@dkm14 Only if they don’t pick it up. My dude will simply not shit on anything but grass and he won’t shit on his own grass. If he didn’t shit on someone else’s lawn he’d simply explode

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@Emensmansera Every Magic player learns this at some point. You are objectively wrong and that’s okay.

[Three 2/2 Goblins With Haste in a Trenchcoat @Goblin_Guide]

@Emensmansera Okay but the point is that no matter what you’re taking you’re just replacing it with the next thing in the deck. “Mill one” is not disrupting anything unless you know that what you’re killing is likely to be better than the next card below it.