Grand Designs

A responsibly sourced parody

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Lombardo is sourcing human hair for the traditional cladding on his medieval stable renovation by shaving his adult children every 6 months

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Godin's build is designed to mirror his wife, Beau's, pregnancy. The structure will be born from a concrete & jojoba mock womb in 9 months

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Slobodan's ambitious barn conversion has been delayed by the granite for his bespoke Neolithic kitchen needing to be imported from the past

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Towbar is recreating the inhospitable gaseous surface of Saturn on his small holding in Malvern. The property will feature a wet room.

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Nozzle's duct tape & pasta tribute to economical Bolivian living has been fraught with problems since he fired his architect into the sun

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Vügel & Qqqqq gained inspiration for their postmodern yeast essence chamber after spending a month listening to nothing but David Bowie

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Churchill & Pasadena's resolve is tested when the 12 tonnes of filo pastry ordered for the roof of their granite favela arrives burnt

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Grobbelaar has artificially inseminated his wife, Daesh, with each individual brick to be used for their rubidium & dextrose folly

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Thwaite, a vegan spirit healer from Bristol, will be insulating his Patagonian grain silo with his own self satisfaction

[katie @amoozbouche]

@Grand_designz Kabbage and Plópp are using locally-sourced pine cones to fashion the chimney of Britain's first transgender dwelling-space.

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Gonad's butter infused polyhedral sense chamber doubles into a downstairs laundry room and the juxtaposition it creates is a triumph

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Brett's jumbo fishcake mausoleum is being built strictly to specification

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Flambé & Jojo are converting a 12th century stable block in Tring into a modern peace gazebo by cladding the outside with hemp and incense

[Martin @_SmartUK]

Clem & Bo have decided to try and landscape the sinkhole that's swallowed their Indo-Himalayan trance garden @Grand_designz

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Pimrod & Fruq are using pulled pork to create a mosaic floor in their ambitious granite and jojoba boathouse

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Galahad & Puzz, dot com charity workers from North London, are using thousands of Albanian orphans to create Britain's most benevolent house

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Gïlfi & Magdalene, spiritualists from Basingstoke, are infusing their entire Kevlar and fudge cubist-inspired ranch in positive vibes

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Blofeld & Püj's dystopian iron and chlorophyll gang hideout will be the first house in Britain to be entirely planned using blogs

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Carbon neutral undertakers, Lucas & Floella, are using their staunch left wing views to make their pesto & titanium microhouse watertight.

[Grand Designs @Grand_designz]

Bickle & Wa'añaqaaa, blacksmiths from Honiton, are crowd funding their ambitious keep renovation. The walls will be clad with selfies.