Guardy™

A guard from Gondor. #GuardinAintEasy #LOTR parody.

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

I laugh in the face of danger.

Then I hide until it goes away.

[númenwhórë @sIickslack]

lmfao I'm obsessed with this gif

[The Wonder of Tolkien @TolkienWonder]

“Galadriel deemed it her duty to remain in Middle-earth while Sauron was still unconquered.”

- Unfinished Tales

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

I visited Khazad-dûm once, when I were a wee lad. I was a child with shiny armour on so naturally the Durin's Folks thought I was one of their own. Well, until they realised I couldn't grow a beard.

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@LtGothmog @yswllyra Gothy! I'm not that kind of guard.

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@LtGothmog @yswllyra I know nothing of new technology. I can barely work my horse.

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@yswllyra @LtGothmog Would I have to pay her?

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@yswllyra @LtGothmog I suppose she could look after the dog.

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@yswllyra @LtGothmog *Throws her at Gothy.* nah, you're alright. I don't want her.

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@LtGothmog @yswllyra *scratches beard* ummm... hmm...erm... *scratches head* what we're you saying about instructions?

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@LtGothmog @yswllyra Nah. I think I can just wing it and hope for the best.

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@yswllyra @LtGothmog I mean, I have become a mighty fine builder recently.

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@LtGothmog @yswllyra @Soshi_Si Or waking up in the middle of Mordor after drunkenly thinking you can take on Sauron yourself but luckily you collapsed in a barrel so the orcs couldn't find you.

[yswllyra @yswllyra]

I believe it’s time for day drinking. 🍺

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@yswllyra @Beckothy @auntielal @WonderBec They've been sat out for over a year, Y! I would have fed them to my dog.

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@yswllyra Nah, little Yswllyra, I was built for this weather. *sits back and relaxes with hands behind his head*

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@aka_Snowy He's a clever boy... he's never failed to guide me back home yet.

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@aka_Snowy Nah, he only drinks dog beer. They make it especially as I'm a regular. Its rather tasty and pretty healthy too.

[Guardy™ @GuardOfGondor]

@aka_Snowy Happy Yuletide, Snowy! I hope you have a great festive time this holiday season. Guard dog and I will be down the tavern as usual tasting all the fine ales Gondor has to offer.