HAARP UK

Huddersfield Altitude Aerosol & Reagent Propagation. Yorkshire’s best parody Chemtrail and geoengineering deployment service. Making it grim up north since 1992

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

We thought we’d never have to explicitly state this, and I know this will come as a shock to some of you but…

This is a parody account.
To take the piss
Out of people who believe in chemtrails.

Most of our followers are sensible and seem to like a laugh but…

A 🧵.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@robster12065612 It’s a fair cop guv. We’ll come clean, we did it.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

With fuel costs soaring, chemtrails from aircraft may become a thing of the past.
At HAARP UK we are ramping up the use of ground based chemtrails.

Our new Floor Altitude Dispersed Geoengineering Emission system is world leading.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@3daveadams It’s in the base, next to the heat absorbing concrete and the diesel generator.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

We recorded a temperature of 50 degrees C here at Barnsley International Airport today.

Using our purpose built Open Volumetric Electro Nephelometer we measure temperatures to help track #Climatchange.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@ElizabethF6116 Hi. Our operations centre is in Huddersfield but our aircraft fleet operates from Barnsley International Airport.
Happy to give you a tour.
Hang around by the bins outside the Wetherspoons on King St Huddersfield and we’ll come find you.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

HAARP UK’s new corporate policy ensures our Wide Area Nucleation Chemtrails will only be used over areas voting for Reform.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@NASA @NASAKennedy Good luck Artemis crew. Far side of the moon isn’t far away enough from your dickhead president but we admire you for trying.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@auwearness @Baratnas @ChrisMartzWX We flew over your house earlier and left a message in the sky.
It said:

— • • • • — • — • — • —
• • • • • • — — • •

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

Here is a lovely photo capturing the Troposphere Weather Alteration Tower creating swirls of Dihydrogen Monoxide over Halifax.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@BeardWalking How dare you mock the jewel of Sheffield’s outlying villages and location of our secret operations airfield.

How dare you sir.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@JamesMelville https://t.co/181O8Wrj4D

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

The manufacture of a wind turbine emits a bazillion tons of CO2, 8,008,135 acres of rain forests will be felled to make 1 blade (which only lasts 2 weeks), it uses child labour, 7,175 kittens are sacrificed, and something something blah Starmer.*

*Source: James Melville

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

As we always follow the latest fashions from the world of science, today’s chemtrail deployment is a new Tylenol Infused Troposphere Spray.

Smuggled to us by our US Antifa colleagues at a cost of £800.85 per acre, Tylenol is the world’s leading cause of pointless internet rage.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@SecKennedy Why are you not revealing the true cause?
Because you’re on the pocket of Big Fryer you fraud!

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

BREAKING: Cause of the autism rate increase revealed.

The addition of a slow release illudiumQ-36 chemtrail compound to the inner coating of air fryers causes autism.

Our expertise along with research from Sheffield Higher Institute of Technology uncovered this shocking plot.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

There is some bad science out there today around Autism.

Let’s break it down, this is the only post you’ll ever need. ⬇️

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

BREAKING: Cause of the autism rate increase revealed.

The addition of a slow release illudiumQ-36 chemtrail compound to the inner coating of air fryers causes autism.

Our expertise along with research from Sheffield Higher Institute of Technology uncovered this shocking plot.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@WhiteHouse https://t.co/FClJj9Hcdd

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

BREAKING: Cause of the autism rate increase revealed.

The addition of a slow release illudiumQ-36 chemtrail compound to the inner coating of air fryers causes autism.

Our expertise along with research from Sheffield Higher Institute of Technology uncovered this shocking plot.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@thehealthb0t we need to think of something to confess on our deathbeds that will keep people like you running around with their heads up their arse for no reason.

Just for fun. It’s how we roll.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@TheCornishPasty @IoanaLogafatu We put AdBlue in the chemtrails. Makes them invisible.

Science is fantastic!

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@TheCornishPasty @MobyRichard2 @CartlandDavid We dont know if you’ve watched “Alien : Earth” or not but there’s a sheep on there that looks suspicious.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@VaxxersAnti We’ve been putting growth hormones in the chemtrails.

[HAARP UK @HAARP_UK]

@banreportcards Conspiracy addled woman working for conspiracy riddled government releases shocking conspiracy to keep engagement with moronic conspiracy believing population.

We cannot wait.