darlene

I’m the best thing at this party

[joe @spinningjoe]

[joe rogan] so you're saying you've never been fed?

[domestic cat that was fed thirty minutes ago] that's right joe. i've never been fed in my entire whole life

[joe rogan] wow

[darlene @HashtagDarlene]

I believe him

[Miffy @miffythegamer]

Why do folks lie like this? It’s so silly.

[darlene @HashtagDarlene]

@DeerTGirl You killed Dolly Parton

[Carey O'Donnell @ecareyo]

Me every day

[trash jones @jzux]

no god created YOU in his image. god created me when he was in a weird mood

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

every day i wake up and look in the mirror and say be gentle with yourself today you stupid fucking bitch

[🤠 @heavensbvnny]

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

[Smiley Crozier @fangirlyposting]

Spoiler: you're Ben Affleck

[very tall bart @TallBart]

Therapist: Are we being deadass?

Me: No

Therapist: Let's be deadass going forward

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

when other people get headaches? an unfortunate & random ailment that should be treated with painkillers asap. when i get headaches? the universe’s cosmic punishment for being inherently Bad & as such i must simply Endure

[nyara @nyaraVT]

“Make America Great Again” means explosive diarrhea, no healthcare, the destruction of human rights and poisoning everyone

[nacho @nachoeveryday]

I wish it was more common knowledge that almost all regulations exist because companies weren’t doing these things on their own and bad things were happening because of it.

[darlene @HashtagDarlene]

@katewhiteshark Ur such a liar I bet you are jerking off

[darlene @HashtagDarlene]

@katewhiteshark Ur such a liar I bet you haven’t even thought about this text today

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

“you did it queen” i whisper as I move everything from Friday’s to do-list to Monday’s to-do list

[Joshin and Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

Sing to me, O Muse, a story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.

[darlene @HashtagDarlene]

North Koreans would find this level and style of propaganda a little heavy-handed

[U.S. Interior Press @interiorpress47]

The advanced nanobubbler technology very effectively killed the algae that has plagued every Lincoln Reflecting Pool reopening—most infamously Obama's reopening—since 1922.

The Reflecting Pool water is crystal clear, and our National Park Service team is now vacuuming up the dead algae resting on the bottom of some parts of the Reflecting Pool—just like the destroyed Iranian Navy resting on the bottom of the Persian Gulf.

[eoin @mis_sludge]

everyday on here