Hayden Deen

Fall Out Boy fangirl

[Hayden Deen @Haydendoin]

Shopping sprees in Paris
Everything

[Hayden Deen @Haydendoin]

I feel like it's an evolutionary flaw that humans can't reach their own backs

[Hayden Deen @Haydendoin]

https://t.co/sQdZaYmO7m

"Wait, police aren't just racist murderers?"

[Hayden Deen @Haydendoin]

Just got a call from UCA telling me that I'm not eligible to take the class I registered for 4 months ago. Some heads up would've been nice.

[Hayden Deen @Haydendoin]

Charizard on the 10th green at Centennial 😅

[Hayden Deen @Haydendoin]

Black Lives Matter has gone too far. Killing the people who risk their lives to protect us is unacceptable.

[Andrew Dobbins @dbob15]

If I were a cartoon character, I'd probably be Gene from Bob's Burgers 😂

[Sophia Benoit @1followernodad]

*whispers to an avocado*
"I'm the good kind of fat, too."

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

if you watch me exercise backwards i get off the floor while sucking in vomit and stumble onto a treadmill that was going way too fast

[Cuban Mussel Crisis @DankSinatra4]

Employer: you're very qualified. Last question. What is your life goal?
Me: I wanna start a Nikki Minaj cover band
JI: writes "so hired"

[Hayden Deen @Haydendoin]

Sad because I have to pay full price for Spotify over the summer because I'm not registered for classes until the Fall 😩

[Cuban Mussel Crisis @DankSinatra4]

Practice makes perfect, I mutter, trying once again to fit a watermelon in my mailbox

[Cuban Mussel Crisis @DankSinatra4]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE SPICE GIRLS ARENT REALLY SPICES
Geek Squad employee installing my TV: I don't know sir now please stop spanking me

[Cuban Mussel Crisis @DankSinatra4]

Honey you don't have to scream "You're the reason they're taking Shamu out of Seaworld" every time our overweight son takes a bath

[Cuban Mussel Crisis @DankSinatra4]

Sparky the dog died ironically: chewing on the power cord of the washing machine after his bath

[Cuban Mussel Crisis @DankSinatra4]

That's how I've always wanted to go. Dehydrated and covered in tensile, like a Christmas tree.

[Cuban Mussel Crisis @DankSinatra4]

I keep hitting the esc key on my laptop yet I'm still in this small box full of angry bees

[Cuban Mussel Crisis @DankSinatra4]

If it's a choice between a women and home improvement tools, I'll always choose the ladder.
#singleandreadytoshingle

[Dan Polish Last Name @danjan13]

*shakes your hand horizontally instead of vertically so you know you're in for a friendship with challenges that will make us stronger*