Tyler Smith

Stand up comedian. Producer of the Dope Show, and other dope shows. - I don’t tweet much…

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

I found out this week the president of Venezuela and I have the same track suit. 🤙🏻

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

I’m not far left OR far right I’m far out🤙🏻🤙🏻🤙🏻

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

The Pope threw a rave with DJ Padre Guilherme… If Catholics are handing out molly as communion wafers, I’m definitely converting.
🙏🏻🤲🏻

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

@DwayneCullen @MitchBurrow This is deep.

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

Montana - “Yay marijuana is legalized!”

Oregon - “Cooocaine!!!!!! Mutha fuckaaass!!”

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

There’s a company called @imperfect_foods that hooks you up with unattractive food for cheap. There’s a company that does that with people too called @Tinder .

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

Took my dog to the vet, and the vet suggested I get my dog neutered.
I said I won’t have my dog mutilated, just the circumcision please.

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

Getting back on tinder is like checking the fridge. You’re not going back to see if there’s something good, you’re going back to see if your standards have dropped enough to put whatever’s there inside your mouth hole.

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

My friend told me a guy broke into his house and drank $700 worth of wine in 6 hours.
I was like “He drank 70 bottles of wine in 6 hours?!”

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

“Fellow parents when do we get a break? Am I right??”
-me after owning a puppy for one day

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

Family “You have bags under your eyes! Are you getting enough sleep?”

Me “Yup, I just have ugly features.”

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

“Yeah that smokes from outside.”
- me on every professional zoom call

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

Sneezed in my mask today at the grocery store. You can’t take you mask off to sneeze. You just got to do it in the mask.
It was a nightmare.

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

I’m holding out for the mumble rap version of Hamilton.

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

Sometimes I go to unfollow someone then notice they post a lot of pictures of their dog...
ok boomer... you win again.

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

I haven’t read a single book this quarantine but I do have the gold skin for the knife and rpg in Call Of Duty. So who’s really missing out huh huh?

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

Yes Netflix! I know it’s been 36 hours but I’m still here.

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

Yo girl you into 99’ing?!

Does that mean cuddling?

Yes... I’m so lonely.

[Ngaio Bealum @ngaio420]

Me, @bengleib , @jackiekashian , @DougBenson , @SammyObeid , @HighBS and Al Gonzales are throwing a party! Come by and say high! #420 https://t.co/kQZ7iv51Wc

[Tyler Smith @HighBS]

“We’re suspending all use of reusable utensils during the pandemic.”

“You were washing them before all this right??”