ava

suig síos agus bain taitneamh

[ava @HotGirlTD]

thinking about the way I carry on after a few drinks

[jess ⚡️ @JessNoFace]

i’ll throw on the world cup in the background while I clean my house and an hour later I am crying for my second homeland of cape verde

[fawn @fawnncel]

is $26 good? Like in the gran skeem of things

[ирис @saltwatermp3]

If we are ever playing chess together and you take my horse you are dead to me. I like him

[evil corey @shiaguevara]

ronaldo gonna kill himself on the pitch if we're lucky

[faget83629031852 @faget9261530128]

my mom used my skull to break open a coconut when i was 2

[mooms : WCP (world cup pervert) @Danny_McMoomins]

Who is Doctor Congo and why is he facing Portugal by himself?

[Edie @3edie3]

going on MasterChef with an eating disorder and making coffee and cigarettes every time

[brian @brianonhere]

whoever designs online portals for local governments is making user interface decisions so bizarre and hostile they actually verge on avant-garde

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

getting drunk with the boys watching "star wars" and my comments about C3PO start getting increasingly inappropriate and sexual. at least twice i refer to him by my ex-wife's name

[cav empty @cavempty_]

multiple times ive wanted to tweet ‘who up torturing their homunculus’ but it kind of just sounds like an innuendo for jacking off

[pavlo @LaughterHaver]

staying up all night to turn 27 like a kid on Christmas except when the clock strikes 12 I just grab my revolver and do something funny

[Circe @vocalcry]

“Claude, eliminate the homeless. Make no mistakes.”

[sydney assbasket @admiralwils0n]

Farting so hard that my cock and balls fly right off

[Old Man Rattle @OldRattleMan]

mr beast scrubbed my penis with a microfiber cloth

[chloe 𓆩♡𓆪🦊 @sithlordchloe]

why does everyone wanna go to japan let’s go to Cork

[Matthias Schmidt @eurofounder]

How Europeans move after getting on a €19.99 Ryanair flight to Bulgaria

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

going on r/science and commenting "I knew that already" under every post

[baby yaga @yagadigital]

Kind of immune to schizophrenia because I could see a grey alien shopping at Dollarama and not really care. Not even remotely my problem