Rosalind Fiala

When someone is jealous, it just means they're afraid to lose you.

[Tammy Scott @MissZakhariy]

You can't judge my choices without knowing my reasons.

[Rosalind Fiala @IgorSheykhov]

"You are what you eat." Thats funny, I don't remember eating a legend lately.

[Velma Jones @izumixBlon]

*Browsing Facebook* *See's bitchy status* 78 COMMENTS! *Gets popcorn* This is gonna be good.

[Rosalind Fiala @IgorSheykhov]

Where do giant spiders play football? At Webley Stadium!

[Jacqueline Goodman @podushkom]

A morning text doesn't only mean 'Good morning.' It also means 'I think about you when I wake up.

[Rosalind Fiala @IgorSheykhov]

So I'm told if you post a secret on your Google Plus page or Second page on the Google Search...it's still a secret.

[Rosalind Fiala @IgorSheykhov]

I'm pretty sure the reason bugs fly around our heads, is because they get a sick pleasure watching us slap ourselves.

[Rosalind Fiala @IgorSheykhov]

Relationships nowdays: 1 Male, 1 Female, 1 Ex trying to mess it up & 1 friend secretly hoping it ends.

[Rosalind Fiala @IgorSheykhov]

My girlfriend told me to see things from a girl's point of view, so I looked out the kitchen window.

[Rosalind Fiala @IgorSheykhov]

Someone tell me how you can "accidentally" cheat on your partner? Like, oops, I tripped and my clothes ripped off and I had sex.

[Rosalind Fiala @IgorSheykhov]

Dear face wash commercials, nobody actually splashes their faces with water like that. Sincerely, my whole damn bathroom floor is wet.

[Patricia Troia @medovshchikov]

Free advice is worth what you paid for it.

[Betty Gobeil @MKukinovy]

All I heard was "I swear it'll be fun" and then we were in jail.

[Debra Breece @Raudin91J]

When you drop something right in front of you and it completely disappears.

[Rosalind Fiala @IgorSheykhov]

If I'm being sarcastic, please don't take offense. It's just my way of not punching you in the face.

[Rosalind Fiala @IgorSheykhov]

How is illegal to talk on phone while driving but its legal for a cop to use a laptop while driving?