Intended Satire

Writing to lighten up people's lives and sift through miserable politics. my Satire is not for everyone, if you don't see it , ask .

[The Detroit News @detroitnews]

Jocelyn Benson expands lead over John James in Michigan governor race https://t.co/qRsv2IKkfX

[Intended Satire @IntendedSatire]

Data centers should use the extreme heat generated to open desalinization plants and produce clean potable water 🚰💦.

[Railway Age @RailwayAge]

Greenbrier received orders for 3,400 railcars valued at $600 million during the fourth quarter and delivered 3,600 units.
https://t.co/yuimnYmxxx

[Intended Satire @IntendedSatire]

Don't buy anything seller is in hurry to sell. Supermarket markup for food has to be 80%minimum to cover spoiled food.4 employees not enough. 25000 per month net is not enough because season changes. Don't buy this supermarket.

[اسأل عن المال @AskAlMal]

من الخاص💰

يا أهل السوبرماركتات والتجارة تكفون أبي رأيكم قبل أتوهق بمبلغ كبير

فيه سوبرماركت معروض علي ب ٣٢٠ الف شامل البضاعه والثلاجات وكل اللي فيه

رحت شفته والمحل ما شاء الله عليه شغال وزباينه واجد وصاحبه يقول يبيع باليوم من ٦ الى ٨ الاف ويصفى له بالشهر حول ٢٥ الف

الايجار ٧٠ الف بالسنه وعنده ٤ عمال رواتبهم ٩ الاف بالشهر

والله ودي اخذه بس خايف اتوهق خصوصا ان المبلغ مو بسيط وصاحبه مستعجل على البيعه

اللي عنده سوبرماركت او يفهم بهالشغله هل يعقل يصفى منه ٢٥ الف بالشهر؟ وكيف اتأكد من مبيعاته قبل اشتريه؟

[Čaroděj druhé kategorie @Velky_Gadzo]

Angličan v JihoAfrické republice se rozhodne, že by si rád zašel do kina. Příjde k okénku, ptá se na lístky a paní za okýnkem se začne děsně smát a říká:
"Nejste odsud, že?"
"Ne. Jak to víte?"
"U nás totiž bílí chodí do kina zdarma."
"Aha..."
Tak jde dál a ptá se uvaděčky, kam se má posadit. Ta se zeptá stejně:
"Nejste odsud, že?"
Angličan: "Ne, jak to víte?"
"U nás jdou bíli rovnou na balkón a černí sedí dole."
"Aha..."
Tak si sedne a uprostřed filmu se mu chce hrozně na malou...Výjde ven a ptá se uklízečky:
"Prosim Vás, kde se tu můžu vymočit?"
Paní se na něho podívá a říká:
"Vy nejste odsud, že ne?"
Angličan: "Ne, jak to víte?"
"U nás bílí močí přímo na ty černé, aby nezmeškali ani kousek filmu."
"Aha..."
Tak Angličan chce zachovat tradici, postaví se na balkóně a uprostřed filmu začne chcát z balkónu. Najednou se dole postaví černocha křičí:
"Do prdele! Ty nejsi odsud, že?
Angličan: "Ne! A jak to víte?"
"...Tak, chčiju aspoň CIK-CAK a ne pořád na mě!"

[Gretchen Whitmer @gretchenwhitmer]

Rebecca Amidon’s race for State Senate is one of the tightest in Michigan. And every seat matters if we’re going to build a Democratic majority that works for Michigan families. Let’s get it done, Muskegon!

[Governor Gretchen Whitmer @GovWhitmer]

BREAKING: Violent crime in Michigan is at its lowest level in seven years!

Since day 1, I've been committed to keeping Michigan families safe. I'm grateful to our law enforcement and community partners working tirelessly to make Michigan a safer state for everyone.

[Moral Victory @lakshmianand96]

😂😂😂

A ship captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship.

He turns on his signal lamp and sends "Change your course. 10 degrees East".

The light signals back "Change yours, 10 degrees West".

The Captain gets annoyed. He signals "I am a US Navy Captain. You must change your course, sir."

The light replies "I am Seaman First Class. You must change your course, sir."

The Captain gets mad. "I am an aircraft carrier. I am not changing my course."

The light signals back "I am the lighthouse. Your call."

😂😂😂

[{HA-زمي(M)الحا-ID} @ALhazMhh]

اقتراح مفيد جدا لوزارة الزراعة والمياه:
--------------------------------------
الأمطار والسيول عندنا ليست طوال العام وعندما تسقط في وقتها تسيل الاودية وبعضها يدخل المدن وبعضها يخرب القرى
الاقتراح..
ان تستحدث في بطون الاودية
( صهاريج تحت الارض ) عميقة بعمق ٣٠ او ٤٠ متر واطوالها لا تقل عن خمسين متر او اكثر وعرضها كذلك او حسب حجم الوادي وتتعدد حسب السيول التي تجري في هذا الوادي.. وتبنى وفيها مداخل للماء وتمتلئ وقت السيول ونستفيد منها ونقننها للزراعة ونكرررها لتصبح صالحة للشرب
عاصرنا ونحن اطفال في ( ينبع ) الصهاريج وكانت ذات احجام كبيرة ومتكرره وعلمنا ممن قبلنا انها كانت تستخدم للشرب
فالنستفيد من هذه السيول ونخفف خطرها ونستفيد منها .... وسلامتكم

[Mark Carney @MarkJCarney]

Le Canada est le meilleur pays du monde.

Un pays où l’on est libre d’être qui on veut. De dire ce que l’on pense. De pratiquer la religion de son choix. Et de vivre sa vie comme on l’entend.

C’est ça, l’indépendance. C’est ça, la souveraineté.

[Intended Satire @IntendedSatire]

When Republicans lose the House and the Senate the price of watermelon 🍉 next summer 🏝️🌞 will be less than $3.00 each.
The only thing that will be expensive is the printer cartridge because of the tremendous amount of printed corruption https://t.co/OI6l06KM5h wars no idiots .

[Alexandre Landry. Un Acadien🦞🇨🇦🇺🇦🇨🇦🦞 #NAFO @AlexandreLand15]

THIS 👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽

[Intended Satire @IntendedSatire]

October

[Intended Satire @IntendedSatire]

19, up didn't see.

[𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 @Matt_Pinner]

Iv seen 7!

How many have you seen ?

[Intended Satire @IntendedSatire]

Blueberry 🫐

[Monica 💙🌻🏳️‍🌈 @softtail65]

Watermelon 🤭
Your turn...

[ᗰᗩƳᖇᗩ @LePapillonBlu2]

Please repost far and wide‼️

[CONSTITUTION X 🇺🇸 @ConstitustionX]

🚨 A PLANE JUST WENT DOWN IN A WISCONSIN CORNFIELD…
AND THE FIRST PEOPLE TO ARRIVE DIDN’T COME IN TRUCKS.
THEY FELL FROM THE SKY. 🪂💥
A pilot flying a load of skydivers spotted the wreck a mile away.
He didn’t ask permission.
He didn’t wait for a meeting.
He didn’t hesitate.
He got on the radio and said: “I can drop jumpers RIGHT ON TOP OF THEM.”
Three skydivers — two of them former EMTs — parachuted into that field, fought through the corn, and started treating a serious head injury before ground crews even got there.
ALL FOUR PEOPLE ON THAT PLANE SURVIVED. 🇺🇸🙏
This is the America they don’t show you enough.
Regular people who see trouble and run straight at it.
God bless that pilot and every jumper who said “we’re going.” 🔥

[Intended Satire @IntendedSatire]

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