Stacey Persinger

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

[Stacey Persinger @IskuiShagolina]

I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again.

[Jean Ross @80Iosafat]

Only In The Hood a nigga will steal your shit & help you look for it. . . "Damn bruh where you last had it at?"

[Stacey Persinger @IskuiShagolina]

My youngest son pointed to a picture of R2D2 and said, "WALL-E!" ...He's dead to me now.

[Stacey Persinger @IskuiShagolina]

Why are children obese? Probably because burgers are $.99 and salads are $4.99.

[Stacy Secrist @klukashik]

The computer beat me at chess, I won when it came to the kick boxing.

[Jung Kellum @AysedoraMr]

When I've already said what? three times and still have no idea what the person said, so I just agree.

[Ethel Roebuck @ulotuDotti]

It's a bird! It's a plane! Oh wait.. It's the flying fuck I will never give.

[Julie Martin @Bludnishchev93E]

Saying you'll wake up EARLY to get something done... then when you wake up, convincing yourself it's not important.

[Michele Gose @sasnozmono]

I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

[Beverly Daub @avirypwin]

I just want to meet a girl who loves me for who I am or literally any other reason.

[Stacey Persinger @IskuiShagolina]

That son of a bitch moment when you're walking around the house with socks on and you step on a random wet spot.

[Stacey Persinger @IskuiShagolina]

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy vodka, comic books, midget strippers, a pony andOH GOD I'M SO HAPPY!

[Stacey Persinger @IskuiShagolina]

I was on the road to nowhere. And I arrived.

[Stacey Persinger @IskuiShagolina]

I don't care if you don't like me, I wasn't put on this Earth to please you.

[Sharon Lovely @MrOsmakova]

Offering someone food and secretly hoping they don't want it.

[Joyce Hill @75Foka]

Money may not solve every problem, but it would likely solve my money problem.

[Keva Hartley @DiyaginMr]

"But officer, this IS my costume. I'm banana nut bread! If I put clothes on, I'm just a normal guy holding a slice of bread."

[Melissa Bradshaw @ANeverlan]

Never leave something good to find something better, because once you realize you had the best, the best has found better.

[Crystal English @knyazhukn]

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.