Ethel Roebuck

We always ignore who adores us, adore who ignores us, love who hurts us and hurt who loves us.

[Ethel Roebuck @ulotuDotti]

Mosquitoes should suck fat instead of blood.

[Ethel Roebuck @ulotuDotti]

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. A stupid person makes it.

[Ethel Roebuck @ulotuDotti]

You aint bout that life HOE!!!

[Ethel Roebuck @ulotuDotti]

If I would have been paid for being lazy, I'd have been a billionaire

[Sylvia Kearney @edozyxM]

"Dad, why don't people make snow-women?"

[Ethel Roebuck @ulotuDotti]

A bike cannot stand up on its own simply because it's "too tired" ?.

[Ethel Roebuck @ulotuDotti]

I believe that if everyone had cookies and milk and a nap at 3 o'clock everyday, the world would be a better place.

[Ethel Roebuck @ulotuDotti]

I didn't hit you, I simply high fived your face.

[Kathleen Cabrera @tamirovv]

I like to put little paper umbrellas in the toilet bowl so my dog feels like she's on vacation.

[Stephanie Crane @GorodkevichW]

We breath air, trees make air, homework kills trees. Therefore, homework kills us.

[Maggie Whatley @ArefLady]

Where do giant spiders play football? At Webley Stadium!

[Ethel Roebuck @ulotuDotti]

It is not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

[Ethel Roebuck @ulotuDotti]

It's a bird! It's a plane! Oh wait.. It's the flying fuck I will never give.

[Suzanne Taylor @kifyak2016]

Grammar is important. For instance, commas save lives: Let's eat grandpa. Lets eat, grandpa.

[Ethel Roebuck @ulotuDotti]

You can always spot the living dead by their wedding ring.

[Jacqueline Campbell @lludyakova]

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

[Michelle Petterson @BfeofilaktL]

If you ignore me, I will ignore you. If you don't start the conversation, we won't talk. If you don't put in the effort, why should I?

[Olga Ramos @asipatra1]

TOP 5 Lies People Tell - 1) I'm fine. 2) Tht was my last piece of gum. 3) I'll call you back. 4) I'm on my way. 5) I never got that text