Kathleen Cabrera

Don't pretend everything's okay, open up to someone. you'll feel ten times better.

[Kathleen Cabrera @tamirovv]

Noone dies a virgin...life screws us all.

[Kristina Courtney @saltanchugaevs1]

People say 'you never know what you had until its gone' Truth is: you know exactly what you had, you just never thought you would lose it.

[Kathleen Cabrera @tamirovv]

Relationships nowdays: 1 Male, 1 Female, 1 Ex trying to mess it up & 1 friend secretly hoping it ends.

[Lenora Waite @edesyatskov]

"My memory is so bad..." "How bad is it?" "...How bad is what?"

[Kathleen Cabrera @tamirovv]

I like to put little paper umbrellas in the toilet bowl so my dog feels like she's on vacation.

[Lois Usry @SSanturyan]

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

[Kathleen Cabrera @tamirovv]

Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.

[Mary Williams @ffedyanova_qk]

Those who can laugh at troubles must be having a hilarious time nowadays.

[Kathleen Cabrera @tamirovv]

If pets could talk, I think we'd all be in trouble... They've seen too much.

[Yong Mishler @Chakhotkin88A]

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

[Kathleen Cabrera @tamirovv]

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, but whiskey is the water of life.

[Kathleen Cabrera @tamirovv]

The saddest love is to love someone, to know that they still want you, but the circumstances don't let you have them.

[Kathleen Cabrera @tamirovv]

Just imagine, Usain Bolt was your father and you were trying to run away from a beating.

[Kathleen Cabrera @tamirovv]

My Boss asked me to start the Presentation with a Joke; I attached my Salary Payslip on the 1st Slide.

[Jennifer Hutchings @MissNaraeva]

Patient: How much longer do I have? Doctor: Ten. Patient: Ten What? Doctor: Nine...

[Melissa Bradshaw @ANeverlan]

Trying to act natural around cops, even when you did nothing wrong.

[Sharon Bedard @Fedosiy79]

A round of applause for that bitch who unfollowed you , blocked you and now is looking at your profile from their friend page.

[Maria Yates @MegaNesvat]

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

[Kathleen Cabrera @tamirovv]

I'll take a McAnything please.