Vitamin X

(he/him) 10 trillion confirmed kills

[buth’s hole @warm__hole]

I’ve never said anything weird. I wouldn’t do that.

[The Great Betrayer @turret_factory]

When i joined the army the first thing they did was mount an auto-cannon on my arm and inscribe runes on my brain so I couldnt disobey orders. The second thing they did was send me on a mission to kill a powerful warlock which i failed and I got gibbed immediately by his spells

[pobnellion @pobnellion]

Peeing is so easy. I can do in my sleep

[sog @_sogz]

i dont have a “foot fetish” i just know how to appreciate the whole woman

[hb @h3xenbrenner2]

i'm gonna be somebody, you'll see. a big time actor. or a rock and roll star. i just need to find a way off this abandoned space station

[Pierre L’Fauex @LFauexProd]

I do enjoy sex scenes in films, and I am a pervert.

[🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🌋🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @hum_dunkin]

Stratagems

[The Frustrating Individual @MILFmassacre]

a few rounds into strip poker and it’s becoming increasingly clear i’m wearing a bomb vest

[Deconstructed Cachapa @AntiClimaco]

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

My grandpa would have been 98-years-old today if he hadn’t double crossed me

[cabby @cabby]

One man’s nook is another man’s cranny

[kelsey @sexytwerp]

i am accepting 6 students to train under me and learn my ways

[dan @Dansplainer]

we should let all the animals out of the zoo #LetAllTheAnimalsOutOfTheZoo

[Isaac @isaacturnersong]

eating bice. its like rice but. hang on im getting a call

[🅹-🆂🅾🅽 @ItsmindofJson]

My autopsy is gonna be fucking ridiculous 😜

[hb @h3xenbrenner2]

Why does everyone I love eventually get blasted out of an airlock

[clanker Hater @anticlankers]

Never kneel to steel.

[very baller cash money normal sane person @normal_ballerz]

YOU WANT TO DIG A HOLE AT THE BEACH