Jacklyn💫

Aspiring Author 📓
Which means I get no sleep💤 and my brains on overdrive 🎉

[Emmy Bacon 🇨🇦 @EmmyStar79]

I don't mean to brag, but I have no sense of direction and get lost very easily.

[michael @michaelktweets]

🌽: why did the tomato blush

🍅: why

🌽: because he saw the salad dressing

🍅: lol

🍇: I just had surgery

[Brent Conner @brentconner_]

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Retweet or December will be the worst month of your life.

[Brent Conner @brentconner_]

PEOPLE
ARE
GOING
TO
TALK
ABOUT
YOU
NO
MATTER
WHAT
YOU
DO,
SO
YOU
MIGHT
AS
WELL
DO
WHATEVER
BRINGS
YOU
JOY,
AND
LIVE
YOUR
BEST
LIFE!

[Wendy’s @Wendys]

No one can ever say dipping fries in your Frosty is weird again.

They did surgery on a grape.

[Jacklyn💫 @Jacklyn_Maybe]

@WineMummy @raymondh3h3 What a concept

[Jacklyn💫 @Jacklyn_Maybe]

Can this also go for when men say
"I'm not a woman but... "
Because I think it should qualify as well

[Dan Rather @DanRather]

When someone starts an argument with "I'm not a scientist, but..." maybe we should stop listening to them weighing in on science. And maybe news shows should stop asking these pundits to talk about something they’re not qualified to talk about.

[moll ☁️ @mcllyjane]

honestly i can’t be bothered with how much sly and lowkey body shaming is going on across all my social media right now cya

[Jacklyn💫 @Jacklyn_Maybe]

Me: *sits down on my own bed*
Cat: *freezes and looks up at me when in disgust*
Me:...
Cat:

[Jacklyn💫 @Jacklyn_Maybe]

I will comment and retweet on Any tweet...No one is safe😈 I am all powerful, fear me
🤓

[Jacklyn💫 @Jacklyn_Maybe]

*external screaming*
*damp crying*
*explosions exploding*

[AWSTEN KNIGHT @awsten]

NOT TO BE DRAMATIC BUT I AM AWAKE AGAIN

[Kristen @Kica333]

At what age are you supposed to know what you’re doing with your life bc I have no clue

[leanne @covermejumpsuit]

“proving to the planet they weren’t vacuous rock stars or poster boys for depression”
alternative press doing it right

[Darla @ddsmidt]

My cat likes to find the highest location, look down, and judge everyone. I really feel like she’s onto something.

[Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds]

It’s not kidnapping. I like to think of it as, “unsolicited location enhancement.” #OnceUponADeadpool

[Jacklyn💫 @Jacklyn_Maybe]

This... is a very valid point 😆

[Jacklyn💫 @Jacklyn_Maybe]

Oki so when I say
"Everything in my life is a joke"
I mean it....

Literally.

Everything I say and do is more than likely a humorous addition to your mundane life....

Your welcome 🙃

[Jacklyn💫 @Jacklyn_Maybe]

I'll take it into consideration
Thanks😄

[Vodka TIEM ™ (powered by whiskey) @VodkaTiem]

Have you tried growling until they back away slowly?

[Jacklyn💫 @Jacklyn_Maybe]

Pffft... Amateur 😌
You need minutes.... 😏

[Vodka TIEM ™ (powered by whiskey) @VodkaTiem]

Just give me a few more minutes and I’ll ruin it.