James A. Garfield

20th POTUS, and Restoration preacher extraordinaire!

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

@RutherfordHayes @ChesterAArthur Thx for your concern. Our family requests privacy during this difficult time.

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

Pippa Middleton, meh. Mary Todd Lincoln, now she was a fox.

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

Lipscomb wouldn't have had the intestinal fortitude to take out bin Laden. That's why he was never president like me. #awsnap

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

@Alxndrcampbell So now they're called the Pimp my Ride Church of Christ?

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

Just gained @drjimmyallen as a follower. Now there's a fellow who likes me Just As I AM *rimshot*

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

@bartonstone Finally, someone agrees with me that Mr. Lipscomb is a pansy!

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

@ChesterArthur I didn't say "unmanly," I said "metrosexual." Sounds like someone's just a tad insecure.

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

Did you know I was America's first left-handed president?

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

@ChesterArthur Who cares about your death, it's my birthday? BTW, I think you were probably history's first metrosexual.

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

Happy Birthday to me, Happy birthday Mr. President, Happy Birthday to me!

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

@Alxndrcampbell As long as you use overhead transparencies and not PowerPoint, you should be fine on Judgment Day.

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

@Alxndrcampbell I thought David Lipscomb wrote that.

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

Tried to tell a Southern congregation that only reason they didnt have piano was that they lost the Civil War. That didn't go well.

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

Took a sabbatical recently, but now I'm back. Did my peeps miss me?

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

Nothing like expelling garbage Twitter followers. Reminds me of shooting rebs in Kentucky.

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

@scottmccown @Alxndrcampbell Right you are, Sir. The New Law didn't apply yet, then.

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

@scottmccown @Alxndrcampbell The people he was referring to were already believers. Their throw-away parts had already been immersed.

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

@Alxndrcampbell I'm afraid you'll have to find (or dig up) the original dismembered limb and baptize it too.

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

@PresLincoln @fillmoremillard How rude!

[James A. Garfield @JamesAGarfield]

Just found out that America's best selling Bible is being updated. What?! Hasn't the Bible been perfect since 1611?