Jay

OK

[Jay @JayDagny]

It’s highly possibly the Lord HAS answered your prayer, but the answer was “no”

[Malcolm Harris @BigMeanInternet]

When I was a kid my dad would act hella surprised when I hadn't seen movies and I always had to be like no dad, I haven't seen Cool Hand Luke.

[cameron! @workreps]

#pouroutabeeronyourcrotchchallenge

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Hilarious but not surprising to post total victory meme videos on all White House social accounts while Trump signs the Please Help Me I Fucked Up I’m So Sorry I’m All Fucked Up Accords

[•ᴗ- @evadentz]

we should ban teenagers from ALL media. and then on their 16th birthday they are brought to a theatre to be shown a movie of a train coming directly at them to see if they react and flee in horror like they did in 1896

[Everything Price Sufferer (but especially eggs) @agraybee]

Trump demanded a million dollars per episode for The Apprentice. They offered $10,000. He got $10,000. His dealmaking style has always been just giving up.

[I Got Raped At Wendys @RapedAtWendys]

Have y'all heard of cheesy miachel

[Jay @JayDagny]

Jimmy John is a nickname, which you only use for friends. And James Jonathan is no friend of mine

[Desus MF Nice💯 @desusnice]

this is like reverse 9/11

[Mrs. Sexy @poopswag34]

Masturbating at work in the corner of the warehouse behind all the empty buckets and shooting my cum on to the floor

[David Hering @hering_david]

Forgot David Foster Wallace was in Superbad

[miss information @intelligentpawg]

why the fuck was i smoking black and milds in high school

[EvilShiba @NotShibe1476]

Y'all sleeping on faggot porn

[Jay @JayDagny]

@tangermusic It’s not meant to be a joke. It was originally used as a fill-in for unexplainable inconveniences, akin to “why is the sky blue?” When someone asks something that is so matter-of-fact unavailable that its justification is unnecessary

[Patches 🔜 AC, MP @RABBITPATCHES]

this dirty soda trend is the nastiest shit ever like are you seriously drinking Sprite Milk

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

Nice racist joke dude! I couldn’t help but notice that your real political goals align with that though

[cornbread Bitch @wobblymami]

My favorite thing to do every night between 8 and 10 PM is get developmentally delayed stoned and eat a handful of every variety of snack i have in the house at the time (a lot)

[BonkDaCarnivore @BonkDaCarnivore]

Trump has skipped EVERY correspondant's dinner across his presidencies. Except this one.

And all of a sudden there's a shooter in the lobby

Ok.

[Jay @JayDagny]

@whale_collector Also just because something is culturally significant doesn’t mean it’s immune from being weird

[Iran Army Media @IranArmyMedia]

Dear Americans,

Your President is a Pedophile

[Aelfred The Great @aelfred_D]

There’s a guy in my head who wants me dead. He’s been trying to kill me for years. He got my dad.

I don’t care what you do that keeps him from getting you. Be an alcoholic. Run ultramarathons. Scream until your throat bleeds.

Just don’t let that fucker get you.